its 1215. middle of the nite. hehe. todae, or rather ytd, is kaiwei bdae. haha. wished him happi bdae via sms. sam called from overseas specially to wish him too. dance practice rox. hehe. the dance very chio. *screams. pai finish le. quick rite? a 2 min dance. but need to lian some stuff. liu xing. wah i suck in dat. tml go dance camp muz go practise le. love todae. hehex.

tml going for job interview with yx. mwhahaha. found a job near to my house le. 6dae week. 1000bucks a mth. quite good i should sae. i dun expect too high loh. i still dun haf my o level cert mah. after that den chiong to dance camp. or maybe go out plae pool den go. nt sure lah. aiyar... tml confirm. boo boo.
1:21 AM

supposed to be at clementi mac at 930 to collect my testi from leong. alarm clock rang at 8+ den realised the weather is too nice not to continue pigging. haha. piak sleep loh. it was raining too. best. mwhahaha. sleep dao ten den wei jie called my house to wake me up. -.- haha nvm. i woke up by then. asked xin help me keep first. shit. supposed to meet xin for breakfast after the thing loh. haha. wan dan le. later sure kana from her. =x hehe. sian... my breakfast mei zhao luo. instant noodles again? ee. tasteless loh. getting sian of it. my feet still pain!! T.T dun feel like walking out. boo. any kind soul would like to help me? haha. jk. think by the time anyone reads this entry, it would have been in the afternoon. i would have starved to death by then.

ytd tried to choose my pae choices. damn. cannot. my mom called so ask her to try. can leh!! grr. (coz she work in moe. if canot can immediately ask them do smth bout it.) later den i read at the top, "please install blah blah java plug in ... (particularly for windows xp)" diao. muz install. den ok le. faster choose den i go out meet charlene, xin n lingzhi.

walk to clementi mrt station. DOWNPOUR. liews. my jeans all wet. cold dao siao. den on the train there were 2 guys n a ger from rjc. two of them couple. so disgusting on the train. the ger very deh. i was like, wah lao. go do that outside here can or not? sai sia. was rolling eyes all the time. nvm. reach le den went to catch the incredibles at lido. 430 show no more le. T.T den catch 630 show loh. in the mean time we went to far east shopping centre to plae pool. so diu lian. most of us 1st timers. char played twice. haha. laughing stock of the dae man. plae for an hour den go to lido n watch loh. oh man the show rox ok. i love jack jack!! kawaii neh~ esp for the last part. not gonna sae out his powers here. juz in case some of u ppl havent watch it yet. dun spoil the whole effect ya? but he's soooo cute!!! OMG!! but canot let him be ur own son. he bui song u den cham le. haha.

rotting at home todae. hope my feet will be in tip top condition for sun. dance practice start le!! WOOO~~~ rox man. haha. finally can go dancing again. esp with mr loh ard. mwhahaha. cool~ but i so long never lian le. cham sia. haha. oh ya, peeps! ard 3 to 330 reach people's association on sun hor. info from senior. wrong dun come find me. =x

*june... haha. dun worry. gonna get all the pics from my frenz n upload. den give ya link k? =)
10:40 AM

ytd was tiring. lolx. havent been updating for the past few daex. busy looking for my stuff. found everything in the end. saw an actress. the duno who's sis. chan u one. juz join. forgot her name. lolx. chio dao siao loh. OH MAN!!! *screams. if i guy sure jio her. lolx. =x shih ying said she saw wu yue tian de ppl on 23. AHH!! lolx. we were at cine then. saw zhanli n a guy too. from far tot bonk. wasnt him. heng i never call him. if nt sia sway dao siao. lolx.

ytd, everyone were yandaos n chiobus. see everyone dressed up n majority of the gers gt makeup. woo~ a really big difference. chio~ can remember 4/3 gt a grp of gers wore pink. very easy to spot. charlene's hair rox!! she ytd chao shuai ok. woo. oh ya, the mc was my pri sch senior. same pri sch form teacher. last time help my class alot. =) didnt dare to tok to him. think he wun remember me lah. 4 yrs le leh. ytd jeremiah was a hot fav among many gers. should see ying ying's face when she saw lingzhi n xin take pic with him. gao siao man. haha. ytd really alot of gers wore black tube dress with slant end. i love sherrie's hair!!! haha. many ppl styled their hair. me too. haha. den late loh. so malu. everyone looking at us. shrugs. anywae, ytd program was ok lah. spent most of my time taking pics. still gt alot of ppl i haven take pic with loh. wasted. haix. haha. nvm. hope there will be a next time. sad thing. TEOH NEVER COME. T.T dat dae sms him he sae no. sad loh. T.T cant take pic with him. lolx. ok nvm. -zip- people!! can send me any photos that we took together? i ytd forget bring cam. =\ cam photos send me!! wan see. hp-wise... eh see u wan sacrifice money mms me. LOL. gt my chocs from tudi too. wee~ thankx. hehe.

after hilton went out with many 4/8 peeps. didnt feel left out at all. very fun. haha. shups they all always take those model model type pic. oh man. gao siao. haha. took train to citylink den walk to esplanade. den walk to clarke quay, fullerton building n riverside. oh man. feet pain. now still pain loh. T.T wun regret wearing heels anywae. lolx. =) walk past the stretch of pubs too. dun like the feeling. =S clinged to charlene all the time. haha. ytd nite she was my nan peng you. (xin, we alliance ok? share share. lolx.) after everything we took mrt home loh. walk home halfwae barefoot. very pain. lolx. nvm lah. walk on the road very shuang. uneven mah. my heels base even. so very pain. den walk dao chao shuang. heaven~

go home my da ge still awake. whew. someone to help me take out all the pin. diff sia. stupid him. ask him i look nice nt. he sae "the hair's nt bad." den full stop le. -.-" haha. throw pillow at him. mwhahaha. oh ya, muz thank kewei, xin's sis. she help us make up de. hehe. THANK YOU!!! (xin, help me convey k? thankx. => ) take out den i go bathe. realised i take out le, i look at though ive done digital perm. nt bad leh. LOL. took pics with my digi cam. maybe i will upload. took it in my toilet. LOL. oops. =) later ask derrick yap n daryl call my house loh. daryl called me when i was on my wae home. tok tok den he off to do his 2/1 chalet food le. think they go le bah. haf fun. =)

*june... huh, switch role ah. sad le. LOL. nvm lah. haha.
*mx... go awae.
*gene... aiyox. i oso duno how to help ya. she will be back k? i noe missing someone is unbearable. take care.
*timo... diao. where gt ppl dye halfwae one?! lolx. oh man. u ah.. haha.
10:16 AM

very bored now. *yawn. tok bout ytd then. went to orchard. again. bot my necklace at far east. whew. its still there. my bros sae it looks nicer if it wasnt a hook. a chain will look betta. dun understand nvm. hm.. cant take out. so leave it like dat loh. weijie bot a white tube. not bad. if alter abit will look nicer but she not going lah. abit lang fei. there alter 8bucks. wow. =\ oh ya, went to cut my hair at reds instead. there no kimage. =\ damn ex loh. diao. my mom no money so hafta borrow from xin first. boo. cut... bang. haha. yup. very guai now. look fei fei one. T.T its not supposed to be like dat loh. effect come out not obvious one. boo. haix. nvm. now i look like a little kid. but overall, quite satisfied lahx. at least i have a hair cut le. cant stand my old hair. very thick. boo. now its superbly thin. mon go sch duno how sia. my fringe leave long gonna cut slant le lah. den looks much more like a 16-yr-old. mwahaha.

shop until ard 6 den went to find sam n rebecca. diao. find them damn diff. i very blur. duno how to walk out of taka to the food court. turn here turn there. ask the security guard. ask so many times. he dun understand. den i sae nvm. he ask me stop, as if i some criminal like dat. diao. aiyar dun tok bout it lah. find them den they eat finish walk to cine take neoprint. den from there walk to wisma. rebecca wan buy her duno wad. forget le. some snack i guess. den go home loh. wah siao. she stay at ang mo kio. take direct bus to sch everyday. i will sian loh.

later going for a dinner. my aunt's company thing. can meet jeanie le. yay~ but duno her reaction when she sees me. my hair. T.T if only i cut a more NORMAL one. boo. no bang!! i dun go for cute cute lu xian man. nvm. half an hour later i gonna bathe, get ready n go le. duno wad to wear. sianx.
4:59 PM

bloody fucked-up person:enough copying my friend's nick okay. damn u. bloody screwed up mind. grr. go away! i hate you! i noe u hate me no less. so y bother reading n anger u further?! SHOO!!

ying² n june: hehe thankx. =) *hugx.

fel: diao. u remind me of o level. *bish. so free izit? no need study for chem huh? *piak piak. haha. thankx. jia you! *hugx.

rm: -.-" need use my chi name izit... yuck. haha. didnt wan to disturb ya studying so replying ya here. =) thankx. u oso sway lah. some screwed-up moron target u. haix. haha. jia you.

settle that matter elsewhere. 'pollute' my blog only. ee. shall tok about todae. haix. a math. when i finally had the great feeling i noe how to do relative velocity, my ans wrong. -.-" wad de... qn11 my A coord wrong, so rest all wrong. suck lah. rest... dun wan think about them le. only noe ushers song was playing in my head while doing de paper. lolx. oh man. felt giddy when i woke up. wake up walk is slant one side one. sai sia. do de exam oso cmi. until like half de paper den ok le bah. whew. but haix. still gt error. boo. duno my a1 fly le nt. theres a possibility. =/

toking bout o levels, my da ge been complaining that y should sg papers be marked by cambridge when british kids are not scoring as high as us but getting the same grades? in britain, u get 30+ duno is pass or a1 le. for math n sci. yup. its a fact. den sg need to pay money, send there den send back. he thinks we should mark our own paper, not as if we dun haf the capability. quite true. hm... =/ duno lah.

walked ard orchard n bugis for 8.5h at least. legs damn pain now. got my dress. realised it wasnt as nice. wear le, like i abit fei fei one. T.T boo boo. haix. buy means buy le. hopefully a belt or sash will do de job. hehe. my er ge sae can get a shaw. hm... quite true. but wun i look very posh posh? duno. still thinking. tot of borrowing from his frenx. but they dun lend one. -.-" sian. too bad i only shou with his 1 guy fren. grr. if nt can le. sian diao.

going to taka tml with lingzhi n maybe weijie. going to get my hair cut at kimage. not very sure about the price. hm.. =/ yianling sae she gt 2 places left for dye n highlight. 30bucks wor. cheap. but argh, CANT DYE HAIR. nt coz of sch lah. as if i can be bothered with that sucky foo. my parents dun allow. lolx. sianx. but oso good lah. if nt really complete the chao ahlian look on my face man. bad bad. jia you pure sci de. tml is the last dae. =) gambate!
10:39 PM

how childish. anonymous, anonymous 1 and someone else. haha. you really make me laugh. and im not saying this on purpose to spite you. comes out naturally. "...... baichi.. so many different anonymous lor.. lame " look who's talking, calling me lame when we obviously know who is. grow up MING XUN. you, me and everyone here know its only you. you only. no one else. quit playing with your 'imaginery friend' game and behave like at least like a sec4 student. its not surprising seeing you always jumping groups in your class. i know why dL and people cant be bothered with you then. same sentiments.

"Lev 19:18, Matt 5:44... www.crosswalk.com.. i not like u loh.. " stop flooding me with God's quotations. you make me despise your type of christians even more, proving me right that there indeed are christians who simply blabber about God this God that and do things that contradict His teachings. I respect God, but i pity him. Despite his eagerness to enlighten and giving moral support to christians, he failed to teach you to self-reflect. from your replies, i obviously can see that you're avoiding the facts that i listed in my previous entries. dont act as if you're all right and im all wrong.

"your character suck more " oh really? i dont treat you as my friend. i cant be bothered about your opinion about me. what's most impt is how my friends judge me. i live for myself, for my friends, for my family. not for you. why should i be bothered over an amateur's opinion when i have so many supportive friends and family members surrounding me, suffocating me with their love? furthermore, a person who scolds someone without looking at himself first before speaking, scolding things that should be on him instead, is a jerk himself.

i choose to swallow down all your nonsensical things and never to rake it up again and you, you have to open your gap and spout agitating stuff here. dont jia xin xin. i dont appreciate your kindness. go show it all to her, if you two manage to survive. i know many things. i just choose not to say. i just choose to be ignorant of the things happening around. but that doesnt mean that i dont know what is going on. dont ever push me. dont make me tell every person you backstabbed the things youve said about them. i can go to the extreme if thats what it takes to get the hell out from you. fine. i mentioned your name. happy? now everyone knows its you. notice i didnt mention your name, coz i feel its just between you and me. but no... you had to push your luck. this is what you get.

taycor, sure lah. confirm update you de. as i always do. =D thanks ya? ya lah... gt u this taycor my life is so colorful. haha. as well as my other best buds. all thanks to you people, i walked out from darkness. you people gave me a big helping hand in everything. totally appreciate it. =) big hug to you people!!! *hugx x infinity.

cous, wow... so free huh, come my blog help. lolx. thankx. awaiting 20 to come den we can meet le. our aunt's dinner remember? yay~~ lolx. thanks again. totally appreciate it. haha. he... small case lah. me da feng da liang oso can guo. this, suan le bah. wont make a difference anywae, after all ive beared for the past 5 mths. *hugx. =D
2:29 PM

great. im actually gonna leave an entry specially for mr. anonymous. grr. after all ive said, you rebuked only a line. wow. how gentlemanly huh? not arguing with a lady. *puke* ya rite. coz ive hit the bull's eye. or rather, eyeS. okay, it may sound bhb that i say you're trying to get near me. but its not literally. it means, trying to be friends again. IT WONT WORK. you really wish for me to type out all your previous smses here? nah. i wont. it will be so embarrassing. to let others know those things you lamented to me about. esp those christian quotations. ( ps. no offence to christians. ) didnt God teach you to self reflect? seems He didnt manage to screw it into your head. you want to know why i dreaded your sight since then? ITS YOUR SUCKY CHARACTER. all the things you did in kuantan. the words you said about clement being such an idiot to obey ms junaidah's words, to actually complete the many compositions when you hand in late. your selfishness. your zi yi wei shi. ARGH!! you think i didnt know your actual motive by constantly updating me about him and her? yes, i did ask you to tell me. i dont see patrick telling me everything he knows then. im not blind. I HATE YOU. GO AWAY.
3:50 PM

anonymous, you really piss me off this time. grr. do not use my friends name when youre not even him. okay, anonymous may be a default name. but r.m is definitely not. youre so contadicting yourself. stop commenting in my diary as if we are good pals and you know me inside out. i hate it. i dont want to have anything to do with you. i guess the smiley face is you too? dont sound as if you know everything thats happening inside me. you dont. nobody does. you think a human is so easy to configure? we are not computers. we dont have a script where you can input fixed codes in to manipulate. this will get you nowhere near me, in fact so much further. "it's always good to apologise." oh pls. you just dont understand. you think apologising can really change things? some things canot be forgotten by just a simple "sorry" okay?! even if they forget, you think it doesnt haunt me every day, every night?! the more you try to comment, the more i feel youre trying to make me accept you as a friend again. i hate it. i hate you. even more.

bonk, hm yup. but not mainly bout that lah. just happen to have something similar with my friend. or rather, many things. haha. kinda triggered the past. again. =/ thanks any way.
11:41 AM

something funny is going on inside me. sudden gush of sadness and disappointment and guilt. mood swing? nah. cant be. starting to think back. memories went back to sec1 to 3. all the stupid and childish things ive done to offend people without knowing. all the crap that ive thought then, making myself seem so helpless when i could have stood up easily on my own. the lethal words ive said to many. the arrogance in my eye. now, ive found the answer to my many questions in the past. why am i always left out by others? why am i not like others? why do i deserve some endings? i know now. hm, been very long since i last had this feeling. weird. guess something triggered it. or someone.

been consoling my friend lately. poor guy. the situation is a secret, so i cant type it here. but somehow, ended up dwelling with him. or rather, i wasnt a good consoler. ( is there such a word? shrugs. ) brought all the past by myself. my foolish actions. but for every wrong ive done, i still dont have the courage to apologise. after all, its so long ago. also dont know where to start. haha.

wanted to update earlier the day bef. was too busy. yup, found my grad clothes. black, as usual. not as excited anymore though. paid the deposit. borrowed money from weijie. only brought like 12bucks out? yup. now im deciding whether i should get a belt or a sash to go with it. hm... the sash is 25bucks. not sure about the belt. =\ probably the belt. gt a feeling the sash wont work as well. met jiemin and her sis that day too. her sis very ke ai. aint sure if my family is going to get it tomorrow. my grandmother may be coming. when she comes, we dont go out. very troublesome. our car is too small.

slacking terribly now. finished my nazi notes in the afternoon. cleared most of xin's math qns. left with mao notes. must finish it tonight, by hook or by crook. i wont mind having lesser sleep. boo. sg idol. i dont want syl to go. sigh. he did great last night. better than daphne. she had eng slang in her chi song. sigh. *prays*
8:20 PM

wanted to post an entry over the weekend but i just cant. -.-" grr. never mind. im here now. =) o's are okay for me. except for english. sigh. shant talk about it. got real stressed out while studying lit. on the verge of tears. haha. thankfully delwin decided to pass me his lit notes after much begging. practically vomitted out my notes for the exam. excluding those chim words of course. today is chem. quite okay. cant really gauge my results now. somehow, the style and format nan hua has been testing us is so different from o's okay. had a hard time tuning myself. have a week break before my history exam. wee~ tomorrow im going to shop with weijie for my grad clothes. yeah! happy happy. haha. oh ya, gonna buy dinner back home too tomorrow. my dad has some dinner. his collegue has worked for ten years and its some kind of celebration and stuff. my brother has his usual jap lessons. he's rusty now. haha.

today, im gonna pack my house. practically have worksheets at every corner okay. can imagine how luan my house is right? =P gonna seperate all the useless papers and useful ones. then on the last day of my o's, THROW!! mwhahaha. shuang. =) not very sure what im gonna keep. probably my sciences. math is definite. gonna pass my lit books and lit notes to juniors. anyone wants? sms me okay?

for the past weeks, been receiving jia you smses from many people. wee~ haha. felt loved. (reminds me of some advertisement. lol.) thanks people! will try not to gu fu you people okay? =) suddenly felt life has turned sweet. was too busy indulging in despair last time. kinda take things easy now. every time someone hurts me, i grow a little stronger. =) laladum~

anonymous: can you please leave your name? its not as if i dont know who you are. im not dumb.
11:01 AM