1:20 PM

announcement of exco. president : joel tan. vice-pres : jiamin. sec: sam. treasurer: ian. PR: baldy. welfare: daniel [h] and gen. functions: jean [h] and brynner. woo. haha. omg. trust has only one person in ex-co, and that person just happens to occupy the most impt post. joel tan. haha. a man of few words.

sang those hymms again. saw the video for the commendation. omg... its all slow-mo and serious and stuff. so many cue-taking. ahhh... oh ya, im the 10th shortest girl in sc, which makes me in the middle. whahaha. tried on our blazerz too. woo. the badge is soo huge. and joel is gonna make name tags for us. then we can put them above the huge badge. oh ya, we need to run to the hotel after commendation lah! the guys arent that bad. white pants with blazers. we girls are wearing SKIRT LAH!! ya know how chor lor that is?!! *screams. its like 2 to 3 traffic lights k!! then we will be all sweaty and stuff when we reach. gosh...

rachie was complaining that her skirt is too long. well, its half an inch longer than mine and mine is longer than my sch skirt lah. i was trying on the blazer with my sch skirt. woohoo. it became some mini skirt k. haha. 28th guys told her she looked as thou she was wearing pants. n ms thng thinks its alrite. haha. jingx too. think both of them are gonna alter on their own bahs.

had some chatty session over lunch with most of the 28th. managed to dig out what the 28th guys, along with BERNARD and HUM HUM, were talking bout on sat. they were ranking us girls lah. and we girls conclude that, guys' taste and girls' taste are soooo off. i proved it again a few min ago. haha. then we started our own ranking under stupid catagories like the grooviest, the most mesmerising eyes and the hottest ass. yes. haha. n ya, i top the chart for being the most dao n fiercest girl in the guys' first impressions. haha. ok... i admit i do look kinda fierce and like some bitchy chao ah lian who doesnt give a damn bout anything ard her when i dont smile. laladumx... behind me was luling, followed by rachie. haha. elsa top the chart for having the most mesmerising smile. (:

studied at venezia after that. omg... the ice cream rocks my socks totally. woohoo~~ 97% less fat k! yums. haha. im loving it. but uh.. i have a bad cough now. n juz recovered from a slight fever last nite. sobs. i wanna ice cream!! 12:31 PM

i actually enjoyed reading roger arnold's tb last night until 3am. lolx. serious! the applications on supply and demand simply rocks as well as those short paragraphs slotted in here and there. there's one : what has blue jeans and rock-n-roll got to do with the fall of berlin wall? those weird titles really makes ya wanna read on man.

hms... i sound kinda mad rite? haha. same sentiments man. im going nuts. woohoo.. haha. half done with econs. figured out a way to memorise all the chem energetic definitions. turn out they are very similar. so standard. they always start with "enthalpy change of" and end with "in std states under std conditions." well if they dont end like that, then the whole thing wont work. n more stuff. not gonna bore my diary with studies. wahahaha.

tmr gonna collect my blazer and skirt and its announcement of the various committee. hms... will be satisfied if i get into welfare. no intention of getting into ex-co. hope everyone will be satisfied with their positions tmr. hms... there's supposedly some steamboat thingy at marina tmr night too. dont know if im going not. boo... 2:36 PM

wanted to blog this ytd but didnt get to use the com. well... this is what happened ytd. supposed to reach sch at 9am for a supposedly compulsory friendly game with the 26th. barely 7 girls and a bunch of guys arrived. no 26th girls were there at all lah. so us girls decided to support the guys mentally and head off to cineleisure to catch mr. n mrs smith instead. forgetful me forgot to inform rachie and poor her rushed back to sch to see no 28th girls at all. hehe. sorrie.

mr. n mrs smith was hilarious for i-duno-why reasons. haha. we just kept laughing in the cinema. oh ya, we smuggled in sub-way sandwiches and some drinks. wahaha. took neoprints after that. wee.. first neoprint with 28th. saw bernice with some guy outside cine. we were like O.O ahh!!

were supposed to meet the guys at ps after their match. btw, they so got thrashed by the soccer guys to some double digit - nil. haha. and got thrashed by the 26th too. gosh. but they decided to change the venue when we walked to ps. -.-" so kind-hearted us took a train back to harbourfont and met them there for a late lunch instead.

chatted loads. and hamdi was there too. haha. conclusion: 28th guys are good at bitching man. they have been bitching bout us or rather, someone from the 28th for more than an hour! boo... 9:57 PM

gosh. guess what? my bro thinks i have a bf 'coz he heard me chatting happily and even laughing over the phone last night. -.-" and guess what i was doing. asking chem and math qns. ahh... 11:42 PM

sleep. eat. study. that explains my life for the past 4 days. haha. so shitty rite? and dearest weijie is out there shopping with her pj friends!! grr. *bish. haha. was watching some shopping show on chan8 just now. gosh. www.3dots.com.sg sells the chioest bikinis! ahhh!!! i especially like the green one of illusions. but one BIG prob. the price is woohoo. haha. and yes, i dont have the body to wear them. *sobs. haha. but ahh... whatever. no harm looking. (:

today is the slackest day i guess. was doing math papers. got stuck at sooo many questions. gt so many queries for chem. too bad my bro needs to work and comes back at wee hours and sleeps str after that. im soooo gonna bombard you later with questions. wahahaha.
imu. (: 8:57 PM

haha. got this survey from cindy's blog. well well... that explains alot... rite? o.O
*huggies. i just wanna call ya mine. (:

2:14 PM

guess what happened to my study plan? *poof. haha. fell asleep and woke up at 5pm. ah!! started studying at night. yes. done with chemical bonding. part 1 n 2. wee... but erm, alot of qn marks here and there. hafta wait for my bro to come back from work before i can start bombarding him with questions. again. haha. think i will continue with chem today. but my progression is super slow.

hms... rach, perhaps ur suggestion is good. but, i will have no one to ask when im stuck! and sometimes things just refuse to get into my head when im out. ahhh... lol. bahs... i need some pro chemist with me now!! *screams. haha. hafta blame myself for not paying full attention during chem lecture. my mind was wondering off to other things then. boohoo.

well, at least im getting into the study mood. *rejoices. lol. dont dare to open my tys coz i know i wont know a single thing. boo. well, i will start doing past year papers first i guess. if i cant cope with those, i wont even think of passing then. bahs...
thx for staying up with me. ilu. (: 1:57 PM

hms... should i change my studying pattern? after watching batman and robin and desperate housewives 1h special (ahh!! *screams) last nite, i started studying phy. wrote notes from chap1 until chap3. slept at 3am. come to think of it, i think im just wasting time. i got a real bad feeling that i seriously aint clear bout my concepts and i will still screw my papers up. bahs... since i suck in phy most so i started with that first. but... boohoo.

maybe i should try my brother's method. he was telling me to study like in the afternoon, which is now btw, until dinner time. take some 2h break and then start studying from 8 or 9 onwards to like ard 11 or so? perhaps this will work. but somehow, i just cant get into the study mood. i know im left with barely 2 weeks to prepare for my 4As and i must be thankful i dont have chinese. but no... im still slacking ard in the house. boo... and the best part is, im already thinking bout going out with weijie and peeps after my common test when it aint started. ahhh!! *slaps.

pray hard i will start studying and stuff later. no tv. no hp. just me, the 4 walls and my books. ahh... besides, no nice programs on too. haha. ok thats smth to rejoice bout. laladumx... perhaps i will go sleep (yes, again. pig rite?) for alittle while since my bro happily woke me up with his superbly loud ringtone and superbly loud tv. grr... must write up a schedule now. hms...


1:11 PM

read rachie's blog n i realised there are still loads of stuff bout ltc i didnt inclue. well... details are at her blog. wanna noe more bout ltc go there n read k? my facils are regina kellie and yanliang. and u'll never wanna noe what they gave us for remembrance. gosh!! lolx. shoots. the food they gave us are still in my bag!!! =x dont worry. they dont rot that fast... rite? haha. laladumx...

im feeling contented with life now. wonder why. haha but whatever. thats a good sign k. since its the holidays, i shant think bout all those shitty stuff that have been bothering me for so long for the time being. shall concentrate on mugging n mugging n mugging. almost done with phy. only. haha. shoottssss!!! i must start mugging k. ponned stanley ong's phy tut. oops. but honestly, i'd rather use the time to study on my own coz i know i wont be paying attention in class.

after common test, i will hafta stay back after sch everyday with the 28th for the commendation rehearsals. woohoo. wish me luck. i heard they are really very picky bout your every move. but ahh... its rather a common sense thingy rite? the whole school is gonna take 3/4 day off to withness us commended. its so grand lah. woo. cool man. but still, i wanna loosen up after the common test. it will be party time!! at least for a few days. (: hafta start catching up with lamers, weijie, lingzhi and xin. with sam and peeps too. laladumx... n many many more!! (: 1:04 PM

just changed my blogskin. finally. haha. woots. found a skin that i like, though its rather erm... irrelavant you know. haha. but ah... whatever. hope the colors wont be too light. i editted a little but didnt wanna it to be too dark since it will lose the effect. comments pls...

oh ya, dont bother bout all the i love you stuff k? (: 3:51 PM

im home in one piece. wee... haha. ltc rocks my socks! trusties rock my socks! woohoo~!! ltc was kinda xiong lah, esp the first day. all the pt for hours under the hot sun until the back of my neck has sooo many diff tan lines. haha. even the tag i wore contributed to the tan lines k. gosh. haha. im sooo dark now. my face is peeling. ahhh... lolx. but ltc is fun!! im in trust. wahahaha. same group as sherlynn, smarties, kenneth the sickoass (lol), joel tan, yuan ling, may hwee, boon kiat, alfred, amar the guru and jingx. weee.... haha. ok lah, kenneth is not a sickoass. just that when we went for our morning walk at 2.30am, he kept us awake with his lame jokes. smita is smarties!! she's soooo cute lah. kenneth gave her that nickname btw. haha. guess what's mine? darth vader. -.-" duno where on earth did he realise my shampoo is dove and from there, i become darth vader. haha. sooo crappy.

without trust, i bet i wun survive tru man. somehow, i dun feel like a weakling anymore in the camp. the tot of complaining and giving up never came to my mind. all i was thinking of was, push on girl. you can do it. oh ya, i found out that it has been a tradition for trust to lose all the time. wahahaha. we kept that tradition going. but hey.. winning doesnt matter. we are one council!!!

day one's theme was on discipline. so you can expect all the shit we are getting. we were given one egg each to take care and we broke 9 on day one!! haha. record breaking man. we did obstacle courses and many games. i didnt feel tired at all. it was fun and all. one game was that we hafta design a structure to keep our egg unbreakable and for the first round, we used joel's old soccer shoes. LOL. it really look like some atomic bomb man. but it still cracked. haha. hey, its hamdi who threw it lah. rugger k. haha.

day two was on passion vs professionalism. the most memorable one was the seeds of perseverence. we were made to mess up classrooms and also with red beans. after that we had to clean them up. lights off. aircon off. doors closed. sooo stuffy. everyone was dripping sweat man. did it twice even. O.O haha. but the games were great lah. another game was the passing of furniture across to get everyone over to the other side. great teamwork. though we lost. haha.

day three. perseverence. the morning walk. we slept at 1230 and woke up at 230 with a loud slam on the door. woohoo. haha. i was so blur lah. i even asked sherlynn: eh need to wear specs not ah? haha. walked to mt faber and sentosa. reached at 7am. haha. ate breakfast at sentosa. bread and biscuits. went for a walk ard sentosa for a treasure hunt. took ard 2h each for our first 2 clues. gosh. haha. hamdi, audrey and andrew were like ahhhhh... haha. but we took less than a min to find the 3rd clue coz of alfred. haha. wee..

day four. unity. wee... did many many things together under the big hot sun. but it was fun!! we designed our own games and let each group play too. too bad joel had to leave after that as he had to fly to aussie for holiday. sighs. oh ya, we had field cooking!! yums. had the nominations for exco. wanted to raise for ass head of welfare. but didnt. hope u noe i did it all for ya. but i guess my chances of getting it wun be high even. after that we had our finale which was rather similar to lead. but ours was a piece of shit. haha. mostly impromtu stuff lah. didnt have enough time. were busy cleaning up the track coz of our game. but nvm. jingx performance was damn hilarious lah. haha. 27th and some 26th and 24th came back too. wooo!!

that ends ltc. sigh. i miss sleeping on the hard ground in the E blk with all the girls. i miss not using my hp. i miss walking together with kenneth, smarties and sherlynn and listening to kenneth's lame jokes. i miss doing all the shitty pt with council. i miss field cooking with trusties. i miss practically everything now. council rocks my socks totally!! wooooo~!!

ltc over. now its studying time. sighs. haha. shall start on mon i guess. pw isnt done at all. -.-" sheeessshhhh. grp leader at camp den like that. wahhhh... ok nvm. should be doing tmr. gotta confirm with everyone later. hopefully can.

took my mind off things for 5 days. zhongyi, thx... (: somehow, i forgot that my friends are really there for me. may not be physically, but at least mentally. though i think there will always be a limit to what they can help and that i must get tru this on my own, but ya... that really helped me alot. weijie... i miss you loads!! get back from hk and we can get our stuff*!!! haha. 2:32 PM

sometimes, it would just send me thinking, why am i always in such sticky situations? soo sick of it. how do i expect to pick myself up if all these shit keep piling up on me? so sorrie sam.. so sorrie zhenyu.. i will just start to think back all of a sudden. bahss...

somehow, this is not the me i wanna see. the person i used to see was strong. couldnt be bothered with what others thought of her, which somehow got her caught in sooo many misunderstandings. and i bet, i havent cleared all. she's so confident of herself. never afraid to make the next move. what about me? some piece of shit. nono. some torn n tattered rag, stepped and stepped on by people. they clean their dirty feet on me and the next thing, walk away as if nothing has happened. and the best part is, all the shit are on me. me alone.

whats the difference between the perfect you and the real you? a gap thhiiiiiiiisssssss big. this is bad man. if i keep thinking this way, no way im gonna recover. end up, i will just make my bros worry more n more for me. bahss.. i dont want to start bearing grudges. i dont want to get all worked up. coz i noe, everything will just split apart. damnit. how i wish i can be selfish. grr...

sam, zhenyu and pat once asked me: since they treat you like that, why do you still regard them as your friends? im stumbed. i duno? perhaps, before they started doing those stuff to me, they were really nice to me then? perhaps, behind those ugly faces, there lies a kind-hearted heart that wont bear to stab me? i dont give a damn bout it anymore.

this is nothing sudden. this is what has been accumulating since... since i dont know when. i dont understand. why are people so childish at this age? cant they just grow up? childish spoilt brats. the smiles on your face is as fake as mine. i swear, if you touch me one more time, i'll just walk out of your life. but i guess, it doesnt make a difference to you either.

im fine... just some sudden outburst of frustration. so frustrated that i have to give people a hand and pick myself up at the same time. so frustrated over the fact that no matter how i try to pick you up to shore, when you get up, you'll sweep all the sand on your body and me and run off to find others who you think are solely the ones helping you. im not jealous. im just disappointed in myself. disappointed that things just keep happening again and again and again. stucked in some vicious cycle. damnit. stop giving me your freaking attitude and apologising after that with some crap excuse. it aint valid k. cos it has always been there.

there's seriously smth wrong with me. happy? whatever i do, i still end up getting all the screams and f*cked-up attitude from you. "im not talking bout her. im talking bout you." fine. whateva. its true. i should have believed her from the start. you're spoilt. you're overly-sensitive. you're vulnerable. you just like to find fault in people when you're pissed with other things which im not even involved in. crap.

wherever i go, i just hafta bear with shitty attitude from people. no new beginning. its just the continuation of everything. birthday wishes dont come true. 4:49 PM

sooo warm. grr. went nuts last nite. haha. was so high. and i duno why. kept "im happy im happy!!" to people. haha. anw, i dont really understand physics. im sooo dead. i got a feeling i will drop phy at the end of the year. ahhh.... that sucks man. i dont wanna drop anything! boo... n its like only 7chaps. ahh... wadeva.

attempted to change my blogskin to smth rather saddistic. the background is a bear with many safety pins poking tru its face and body. *ouch. editted the html codes and somehow, they dun appear. worse is, those that ive del, they still appear. ahhh... ok. im sticking to this blogskin then. its very nice. plain and simple. but i somehow got bored of it. haha.

going out to meet weijie later. oh wells... we haven confirm the time yet. bahss... at least i get to go out one last time before the camp. wonder will anyone support ernie tmr? sigh. 3:39 PM

ok. im back. the old me is back. no more the idiot who constantly falls back into depression from time to time. wahahaha. been nice chatting with zhenyu and teng bout it. thx... n junying, dun worry bout me k? im alrite. i miss you n dance too!!! neoprint!!! haha.

well... i woke up today. n i think i noe what's wrong with me now. oh wells... so sorrie bout it. it wont happen again. it didnt happen ytd if you didnt realise. at least not from me. i think. hms... but thx for insulting someone closest to me. shrugs.

have you ever wondered that you might be the last person someone will ever want to see in his or her life? have you ever wondered, that maybe, youve been irritating people without you realising it? everytime she wishes to be the perfect friend. the perfect person in people's lives. nah. it wont happen. she knows that it wont. no one is perfect. but she simply hates the imperfections she sees in herself and not in some that she knows. she wishes to change. but somehow... is it possible?

*snapping back to reality. laladumx... today is mugging day. either i go out and study with jie or sistas, or i stay at home and mug. shutting myself out from the outside world. no sms-ing. no phone calling. its just books and notes. books and notes. wahahaha. 12:22 PM

"im not talking bout her. im talking bout you." what's wrong with me? bahs. this sucks man. you hit the bull's eye dude. great.

dropped rite back to square one. this is sooooooo great. n im disappointed enough with stuff already. 10:01 PM