two weeks...

• lack of sleep
• staying back till wee hours
• cold leftovers as dinner
• rushing of tut and revision
• lost my tie (damn it)
• 'lost' and 'found' my hp
• 'misplaced' my hp

all these, just for today. "terima kasaint. tugged away on a holiday." woo... quite a few good comments by the teachers. ms tan vi vian said she can see we put in loads of effort into it, keeping in mind those small little details. teachers loved their passports. they loved the cruise layout at the reception. they loved the concert. (: now i finally understand when the 27th tells us "its all worth it." when u see that u can bring a smile to all the teachers, you'll know what's carrying the fatigue away from you. wee...

a pity jingx had fever today. sighs... wonder how's she. hms... think i'll sms her tmr. bet she's resting now. dont disturb her. chem test. my gosh. chimology. haha. hope i can at least pass. been failing her tests lately. sighs. pls let me pass!

slacked in sc until 3+ bef heading to ps with the rest. took neoprints and had lunch/tea/dinner. lol. wanted to meet my darlings xin, jie and shih ying. but they were at far east! O.O my goodness. too shagged to walk there lahs. lazy to take bus too. like 3 stops only. haha. darlings, i must and i will meet ya guys after promos and pw k! sigh. i miss ya guys so so so so much!!! ):

10:09 PM

arghs. sometimes i dont understand why my mom is so strict. i have valid reasons not to go sch. and not as if im gonna waste my time at home doing stuff like playing comp games or chat or go out and play or smth. besides, there wont be anyone online. im so tired lahs. been staying back in sch every day until 8+ and been staying up until like 1+, 2? to complete my tutorials or study?! its not as if she doesnt noe a thing bout it. she even told me to come home as early as possible and rest more. ughhh!! today is a friday for goodness sake. theres like only math tut and chem lect lahs. wasting my time in sch. walking ard like some zombie who goes ard pissing people off. cant she just understand that things have long changed since her time, or even my brother's time?! why dont i have parents like tiff's? who force her to sleep until like 8+ when she slept at 1+ on a sch day? ponning sch. big deal. not as if i like it. arghs.

at least parents give their children support. you? dont even support me being in council. doubted my capability to get in even when i told ya i was running for it. not even happy when i got in. complained so much bout council. the price of the blazer. "haven even start and u hafta fork out so much." dropping phy. grumbled so much. insisted that i should take 4sub. cant she put herself in my shoes? even my brother was neutral bout it.

i always have the feeling you're comparing me with my two brothers. so what if da ge is some genius who's able to juggle his ccaS ( and i shall emphasize on the S again. ssss..... ) and studies so well, scoring 4As and 1 dist in his A levels and obtained a master's degree in chem engineering in US with a scholarship? so what if er ge is so good in art and media studies? it doesnt mean that i have to be as good as them rite? i cant draw. im dumb. ugghhhhh!!!! 10:01 PM

arghhhh!!! feel very wrong. very very wrong. stop interrupting me when im talking to someone. your presence make me feel as though you're pushing me for a quick and sincere reply when i possibly cant. stop invading my 'territory'. ugh. i seriously HATE it man. i can take it if its once, twice. but not like everytime! its you. yes its you. but i cant take that part of u. im not a good friend after all, unable to accept your flaws. i duno. i really duno. i feel like screaming in your face sometimes. but i know i cant do that. ugh!

dont use harsh words on me. it feels as though you're making me do what YOU think its best for me. my bro said "what do they know?" clashes in character. i duno how long i can take this. i cant breathe. everyone's like strangling me at the neck, turning my face blue. no. its purple. arghhhhh!!!!

this week simply SUCKS. what the hell am i doing. sometimes i get so irritated, i just wanna slap you in the face to shut ur gap. kao eh. i really duno what the hell you're doing lah. contradicting yourself. what's your f***ing problem?!

-bleahs. i didnt want to use that word. but UGH! 10:08 PM

council has a new pet. or rather, had. felt very bored while having my dinner just now so i thought of the profile of our 'pet'.

Name: uh... skip this first.
species: mouse
size: little furball-like
bedroom: sc grey metal cabinet
popularity: beyond the skies. all female councillors scream upon its sight. =x
stamina: lightning speed. nobody noticed it running into the sofa.
place last seen: the fence near D blk.
last bite of the day: daniel's finger.

haha. everyone was practically screaming when we saw it running ard the sc. gosh. pong and belle were so afraid, they stood real stiff on the chairs. lolx. oh well. the guys managed to catch it and release it into the wild eventually after the second attempt. it ran out of the bin they caught it in. guess what. part of its tail was accidentally 'chopped' off by us. ouch. then while releasing it, guess it wanted to take revenge or too frightened, it bit dan's finger bef running into the wild. ugh.

stayed back for programs meeting. at least we got everything done. whew. shoots. i forget to hand in my gp compre. sooo sorrie shir. ahhh... i will put it into his pigeon hole first thing in the morning and hopefully he doesnt notice it. sooo sorrie. ):

slept at 2am this morning. was busy studying econ. at least i know how to ans the qns today. cant gurantee a pass thou. phy spa. its for CA. whew. uh... ok lahs. math test was freaking easy. 10marks only. -.-" but got irritated by my stupidity for being unable to find the range of g. rarrh... sorrie elsa. ):

needa stay back tmr for preparation of teachers' day. ok... must practice my dance. must have more energy and be sharper! woots. oh ya. choreographing finale dance too. bahs... 8:56 PM

woke up at 830 thx to andy. i mean kah fatt. haha. he called me to tell me 76 is having soccer match at st. wilfrid's again and asked whether i was coming not. sigh. so sad that i cant go. leonard is kicking! and its his final game! grr. haha, he's my neighbour btw.

got ready to go out and meet felx, simin and meisi at je. ahhh... so happy. our annual outing. (: haha. went to ntuc to get our usual junk food, comprising of soft drinks, chips and instant noodles. haha. woo. took bus to joey's house and camped at her house after that. watched movies like princess diary 2 and freaky friday. played mahjong too. with a 'new' player: liu xing chen. LOL. inside joke.

chatted alot. gossip actually. haha. bout ex-nh peeps. nth bad. but aiyar. haha. u noe... gossip gossip gossip. updated each other bout alot of people's happenings. (: so happy. saw 205 pics. OMG! i looked freaking U G L Y lah!!! pls. dun ask me how ugly. i soooo not gonna show anyone those pics. even if u threaten to kill me. haha. reflected on how i behaved. my gosh. so sucky lah. childish and stuff. haha. oh wells. shrugs.

love today. i wan more!! greedy me. (: 10:02 PM

have you ever wondered whether there are people sprouting bad stuff behind your back? be it true or untrue? then when they are facing you, they take as thou nth has ever happened, nth has ever been said before? its so scary.the human's mind is so inaccessible. everything is so mysterious. pitch black. ah...

haha. just some random ramblings. peeps, im alrite. just disappointed. oh well. we cant change things that have been done. live with it then. hms... national day today. saw a trail of tanks, fire engines, ambulances etc driving down the street at clementi central. so cool. saw some army guys waving green lite sticks like mad and waving like nobody's business. lolx. thank goodness i didnt miss it.. (:

oh. i bought my pens and highlighters. brown and green pens. pink, blue and purple highlighters. i think. haha. woo... must try to get as many color pens as possible. i work betta with dazzling colors all ard my paper. (: laladumx... left with my notebooks. mine is finishing. at the rate im using. omg. haha. 10:49 PM

dont you get tired hating people, or at least disliking people? people like... ME?! this thing was over ages ago. it has gt nth to do with u at all. i know im mean to think this way but... are you using that thing to just flare up at me then for a misunderstanding that you foolishly believe instead of listening to others ard u? coz you cant win? people question your pessimism, whether you are faking it or not. for me, i think you just look too deeply into things. cant let go of things that aint your prob at all. no. dont give me a freaking excuse saying, Oh. she my good friend. her prob is my prob. what fish is this? rubbish i tell you. (no, im not mimicking berd.) its you. its you who caused me to be soooo detached from the grp. people come to me and ask "what?! you aint invited?! why?!" NOW I KNOW WHY. and it aint ONCE only.

sheesh. and i tot u've put everything down. you are so freaking fake man. i still remembering you shouting my name in sch and asking me stuff. and going to town when the thing just settled down alittle. WTH. RUBBISH I TELL U. freak. just wake the hell up will you? rarrhhh!!

aint done. but aiyar, whatever. dun wanna continue. if it pricks ya conscience alittle, i'll be thankful already, or at least KNOW IM TALKING BOUT U. 11:23 PM

im dont have short legs. im not dumb. im not fat. (ok maybe alittle) but i can draw a complete pretty star without lifting up my pencil. and i dont fall into a used firepit while running. hiak hiak hiak.

ok its decided. im moving house. most probably next door. haha. bahs.. hms, but the problem now is the availability of free funds. shant elaborate on that. but ya, cant wait for my new home to be done. with my own bedroom and hopefully my own toilet. with my own study table. blah blah blahs. and pls pls pls. dont make my move to my grandmother's house during the renovation period. i will miss home. i will miss my family. i will miss... ok lah. mainly all my stuff. haha. i cant possibly carry all of them there rite? but it will be more convenient for me to go home when SA moves to SAV. shrugs.

national day rehearsal tmr. wonder what we will be doing besides singing. and swaying from side to side. haha. pls, end early. i need my sleep. ahh.. then i can have an early dinner and reach home early and sleep early! woo.

binging on food lately. its getting bad. bahs... okok. i will TRY to stay away from yummy food esp when im already full. boo. shall ban snacks soon.

math lectures in audi sucks totally. dont like it at all. pls pls, dont take my attendance. i want to jump back to LT3. there's a table lah! grr.. lol. n ya, i can concentrate more too. with so many people in the audi, its like suffocating inside. =S 9:05 PM

read rachie's blog entry again. hey babe, you sound so mature in there. not that you're not, but i hardly see this side of you. haha. hms... it kinda helped me alittle too, if you know what i mean.

after all the long chatting sessions with sam, sistas, lulu, dan and pong, i think i have the rough idea of what has been going on now. thou it may be quite bombarding and so sudden that i was unprepared to take all of this at one go, but erm.. its in my head now.

think no more. 6:03 PM