hms, ok im quite upset that i got into log comm this time for orientation. yes. orientation. the biggest event ever for any saint councillor. boohoo. but ya.. i guess its true that ms thng wants everyone to have a bigger exposure in everything ya? thou im not a log person, but at least there's still orientation ya? and my head's a great guy. uh kid. uh guy. LOL. ian. ass. head too! sher!! (: and many other council peeps too. but actually, its not much bout the log comm issue. end of the woohaa thingy.

a relapse. woohoo. round the room in less than a sec. bahs.. my mom says maybe ive been sleeping late. ok is mn late? probably. and probably the weather? very warm. and its supposed to be a rainy season. oh well. rain rain, pls come. im but a roasted pig.

oh oh! ive finished reading "and then there were none" by agatha christie. WOOHOO! i was half right. i knew that was smth wrong with that person. HIAKS. laladums... ok rach. i can return the book to u tmr then. its still new! (: 5:46 PM

the verdict is passed and final. im someone who cant balance well btw council and studies. i suck in chem. I DONT PERSERVERE THRU. no big bout the big jumps in grades for math, econ and gp.(thou it doesnt matter) HOHO. and i must do things to show that i can, not because i want to do them. great. SACK ME FROM COUNCIL THEN. i dont give a damn.

progress records mean a whole lot to me. dont ask me why. i wont bother explaining. so dont bug me bout it. i bite. rarrhh.

this week aint my week. everything's going wrong. so so wrong. im going nuts. and i do mean it. *groans. 9:51 PM

hms... time seems to pass real fast. *poof and october is ending. and im gonna be a j2. which means my As are coming. i remember my bro asked me to start revising just after my promos. quite true actually. with all the orientation stuff coming up soon, i guess i really wont have much time to lag behind, esp for chem. love chem. still loving it. but cant seem to score in it. really must make an effort to confirm the tuition thingy real soon, like bef october officially ends.

time really flies. its true when people say jc life is short. its too short. but at least, its eventful. orientation 1 and 2. valentine's day. exams. campaigning. commendation. teachers' day. open house. og outings. movie marathon. never had so many activities going on in just a year before. and now, everything seems to slow down. 3 days at home is simply boring. thou there's supposed to be a class outing today, but i cant go. just recovered and i cant really walk steadily at times. i think i'll just bang into a tree or smth. dont really have the mood to go too. bahs...

blog-hopping again. seen entries filled with hatred, doubt, grief. people trapped in a tiny world. and a few entries on a lighter note. oh well, life can kill.

i hate to slow down. after all the muggings till wee hours every nite, having a holiday can be a torture to me. uh huh. i dont want to be a potato couch. i want to do smth beneficial. for me. for others. was thinking of completing the book rach lent me. and im going to. even my mom says i dont read. its time for a change.

yea yea... after all the blabbering of changing for a better person, the past still haunts me. oh well. i only have myself to blame. for the evil meanie things ive done. the time has come for retribution. muahahaha. people dont really get a second chance eh? oh whatever. who cares? sheesh. 2:08 PM

bahs... ok. just checked www.dictionary.com pedophile and paedophile are synonyms. both with the same meaning. eeks! ok. i didnt spell it wrongly. bahss..

not in a very good mood now. so that above para may sound rather offensive. sorry to all. boo. cant believe people are so so shallow. and so brainless even. sheesh. 12:03 AM

weets. found this awesome blogskin at www.blogskins.com its orange! hiaks. i bet caron will go gaga over this blogskin too. wee.. hms, there's just one prob. i cant shift the whole thing up so i wont need a scrollbar on the left. ok, probably cos my com screen is smaller than the rest. but ya. tried adjusting here there. but everything just went wrong. so i just left it as it is then.

hms... wonder whether the linkies part is alittle wordy. oh well. heck. hee. tidied up my linkies. havent added caron's link in yet. will do that... uh soon. haha.

gonna send the game proposal in and im off to watch more cartoons! i simply love cartoon network and disney channel. deprived childhood. hiaks. peeps! tiny tv is a must watch k! all the loveable cartoon characters are shrunk back to their kiddy size. and they're oh-so-cute! =x ok. im a pedophile. eh no. no no! a pedophile is an adult sexually attracted to a child. eeks! ok. i just love kids. (: 3:42 PM

whinning session once again. DO NOT CALL ME "MY LITTLEST ONE"! first and foremost, im not yours. i belong to myself and to my family. no one else. and that includes you mister. secondly, eww eww eww! that sounds so so so sooooo wrong. im not your gf or smth ok. im just a friend. at least thats how im treating you and you hella know that. i guess i didnt nail it hard enough in your brain the previous time. PUL-LEASE! wake up! ahhh... you're driving me nuts. and no, that aint a compliment.

no, no longer am i gonna convince myself that As is such a big issue im gonna allow myself to let you continue with your oh-my-goodness eeky smses. NONONO!! you hear me?! yes, i know you care and whatever shit. but noo!! eeks eeks eeks! get off get off get off you pesky leech. rarrrhh!!

whinning session ends here. bahs. big thank you to all who've shown your concern ya? im all fine now. just slightly giddy at times, like when i bend down or wadeva. im fine! wee... haha. went to sch ytd. for the last open house meeting. my dad sent me there. wee.. i love my family. laladumx... went there and sistas and ll are at harbourfront! boo. haha. its ok. had fun in council room seeing belle and derek talking. LOL. oops. ok. saw some of my classmates. kah fatt. wilfred. jacky. tok loads of rubbish. oh well. im glad my pw group did a really good job without me. (:

soon it was meeting time. blah blah. the usual. then chua and lim treated us to seoul gardens are bugis. weets! we waited quite a while for seats. mr lim had smth on so he didnt join us. quite sad. hms... we had loads of fun. zhihan has a bottomless pit! he eats like nobody's business! eeks! so freaky. and he's sooooo thin. -.-" unfair. haha. and elsa was complaining i ate too little. hee. ok. i'll eat more everyday k?

went home late. and just when i stepped into the house, i received this wonderful sms from my dear friend. (: laladumx... happy happy happy! all's well that ends well. re-start of our friendship. wee wee wee... 1:45 PM

bahs... im gonna start whinning now. so pls pardon me by clicking that cross on the top rite hand corner of your screen if you cant stand it. thank you.

ok. its no use asking shir dear to help me hide the fact that im ill. im gonna announce it here now. IM HAVING GASTRIC FLU. yes, and it was since ytd morning 6am. woken up by a terrible giddiness and nausea. any spelling error pls correct me alrite? not in a very rite state of mind. the world started spinning and spinning and the next thing i knew, i puked beside my bro's bed. woke my bro up. couldnt move the slightest bit. everything i do, i'll just get more giddy. more giddy = more spins = more vomits. bahs..

aint i sway or wad. the first time i've fallen so ill, my mom had to work on a sat. T.T oh well. it aint her fault. professionalism. so my kind bro helped to clear up my eeky mess and my dearest dad piggybacked me to see a doc. omg. my dad is over his 50s lahs. and im like woohoo.. heavy. felt so guilty.

went into the room to see the doc. i could barely walk. needed my bro (or isit my dad) and the nurse's help to assist me. guess what? the doc suspects im suffering from depression 'coz he canot find a cause to whats happening to me. sheesh. he kept saying stuff like "SAJC is one of the top jcs. student council is very stressful." oh wadeva. he gave me TWO freaking jabs lah. its not that it hurts or anything. could only feel the fluid inserted into my body. but oh hell. my mom tells me he loves to give jabs. prob coz he wants to earn more money.

went home. vomited like hell. non stop. my mom came home. and she had to keep changing the plastic bag for me. sighs. im such a bother to the family. slept like a pig too. vomited everything i ate and drank. woohoo. so i didnt eat anything after all.

very weak and all ytd. couldnt reply sms-es to my pw mates and the rest. cant even go PA today. sobs. sorrie daryl. only managed to save up some energy and call jacky to tell him bout pw since the first name i saw which appeared in my phone was his. bahss...

sincere apologies to my fellow pw mates ya? i'll try my best to fine tune everything you guys have come up with. so so sorrie for the long mia. T.T

my uncle came to see me ytd evening. he deduced that it was gastric flu. see?! depression. nonsense. haha. too bad he couldnt get a jab for him since his prescription pad is not with him. bahs... its ok.

woke up this morning. felt betta. the nausea is gone. but the giddy thingy is still there. sighs. pulled my mom down when i tried to get up. oops. haha. den she helped me downstairs. drank half a cup of milo for breakfast. and ate half a bowl of porridge for lunch. felt accomplished just now when i bathed on my own. hee. ok that sounds stupid. but yes. thats how weak i am now. i smell nice. wee.. haha.

my bro's out. my parents have gone out to visit my uncle again. kinda sad that i cant visit him. not in the rite condition yet. so now, only me and my da ge are left in this house. will attempt to eat dinner later. wee...

having a hard time typing. cant turn my head ya noe? will feel giddy. haha. i look so stupid! eeks. hopefully i can go to sch tmr. see how my grp does for pw. honestly, i definitely wun be well enough to present anything. sighs. but ya. just to give them moral support. and yes. tmr is open house briefing. and i still have 2 proposals to do! eeks! die die. i'll try to type it out somehow.

hms... enough of the whining. this para is dedicated to my class soccer guys. hey dudes. you guys have done us and urself proud on fri. even thou ur success aint recorded and recognised by the majority, we can see it k? you're always our champ! wee... (: 5:12 PM

viewed some photos and suddenly, qiushi's latest blog entry gushed to my mind. bout her throwing away ray's stuff. then i remembered what rach told me today. bout her wanting to throw away a bracelet. HMS...

just a random thought. hehe.

gonna enjoy alittle before i go offline and concentrate on my wr. rarrhh. i think we're so behind time. mel's grp has long completed theirs and are already starting on OP. oh my. gonna burn my weekend again. bahss... i seriously hate pw now. big boohoo to those who even introduced it in the first place.

thou we learn how to do an actual proposal, report and even how to present our idea, but hello?! its so stupid! takes up soo much of our time. jc life is so hectic and they wanna add this on. -.-" rarrhh...

"wouldnt it be wonderful if someone special brings you out for a romantic dinner on your birthday?" " if you sew a pillow case for your boyfriend, then he can lie on it everynight, provided he doesnt drool." *cheeky smile. (: 7:32 PM

sniffles. every day is a rainy day now. and the audi is freezing! that is how i caught my flu. siling, my nose is wobbly now. LOL. got so irritated by it i didnt go for ANY LESSONS after pw. boo.. lazy me. cant concentrate. so i fell asleep in the council room. nice weather for hibernation. (:

oh ya. coz of my dearest flu, i pangsehed my pw mates. LOL. oops. so sorrie guys. such a slack leader. boohoo. it was a bad choice all along. there're loads of stuff i need to do. let's see. type out proposal. edit pw according to william lee's comments. go to bugis and get that WOOHOO bag. i must get my hands on it. muahahaha. collect class fund. start on op.

ok i guess that's all. oh my, that's alot lah. *screams. nevertheless, i enjoyed ytd. i guess its an early reward? another joyous news to announce. sistas are all promoted. woots! jingx was worried for nth. she scored 47pts lah! haha. not sure bout council. but i got a feeling council will always have full strength. woots!

soccer just now. wilfred injured his shin. jacky too. andy (kah fatt) got hit in the mouth. andy (han siang) was elbowed. oh my. but S76 IS IN! wee.. cheers to them. ahh... cant take my flu anymore. was even watching soccer in the rain. haha. im really killing myself. oh well. ITS AFTER PROMOS FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. i can afford to be sick now. but of coz, i dont wish to. 7:12 PM

open house ended. not very pleased with it. complacency. tsk tsk. but still, i can see how much effort many have put in. cheers to them. (:

nice long chat. things unravelled. said my piece. but still, im always here. (:

promos are over. thou im not satisfied with my fat F for chem, which i mugged the most, i kinda expected it. wasnt really affected when i got back my paper. but i was just surprised i scored pretty well for math. didnt disappoint teoh. wee. econs. ok. chua, pls pls give me one more mark so that i can jump from a D to a C. pls! thou i dont need it, but ya, you know? gp. its just pure luck that all that ive studied came out. so i cant say i improved. but at least, it brought a smile.

promoted. so do some of my friends. some didnt thou. quite agape. they've put in so much effort, yet the outcome is this. sighs. i dont know what to do to help. so useless rite? haha. hms.. i dont know. i still want o5s76 to remain as it is. and council's strength to always be 47. everyone has his or her own place in me. wont want that piece to leave me.

shall see how i can help to fight for marks for them tmr onwards. every mark counts now. ): 2:04 PM

people who say those who inflict pain on themselves are dumb, are dumb themselves. they fail to be in their shoes to find out what went wrong, and simply accuse them of smth that easily worsens the whole thing.

nah, it was just a random tot.

im sorrie pat, i had to delete your note. i dont want people to know bout it. thx for realising the hidden meaning. i thought you wont. but thankfully u did. thx. i'll explain to you things later k? im so so sorrie. ive disappointed you once again. ):

malan noodles. big boo boo. soccer match. woohoo. student council vs house council. we won. 7-4. but i must say, house council is really good and they've played very well. esp liang sheng, who apparently went on to play despite getting his second leg cramp during the second half. i wont say it wasnt a fair match. may not even be a fair match too. house comm had lesser guys to sub, while sc had our star players like kenneth, yong hwee and ian at grad nite meeting, and andy injured his ankle. thankfully, kenneth and ian rushed down to join in after the meeting and we, from 0-2, caught up to 4-4, and eventually broke the tie to 7-4. im so proud of council guys!

you should see how depressed and serious they were during the end of first half. the score then was 1-3. shaun became like a manager. appointing each player their respective positions. this that this that. woohoo... then everyone were on form, including andy. i bet his ankle hurt real loads. thou dan's hands slipped but hey, its ok k. (: you guys did a great job!

cheers for house comm and sc. (: 7:01 PM

i thought of many things to say. many things to do. but i just realise, theres no point in doing anything to change anything anymore. whats the use when u dont understand why im doing it? i have so many things to tell you. to tell you that there are so many things i didnt know bef everything happened. so many. i dont know where to start. i planned. planned everything nicely. what to say. what to do. how to do it. doesnt matter anymore.

ive decided. perhaps maybe long before i knew i did. its final.

everythings back. punishing the outer shell to ease the pain of the inner soul. im sorrie. 7:35 PM

sometimes u reach to a pt in life where maybe, you dont see the reason of continuing forcing smth out that aint the present you anymore. or even, you yourself dont even know what you're doing now, speaking words contradicting to what you're doing. maybe, you think its the end of the world soon and yet, you havent completed stuff that you've long wished to do. and so, you're trying your bestest best to accomplish them. or perhaps, you have so many doubts in life, you dont know what move to make next. or even if you know where you're going, you know it aint a smooth road ahead and you just. stop.

hms.. all i can say is, this is ur life. dont let what has been planned for you confine you to the limited routes that are too obvious to not be seen. dont be afraid of making the darest move you've ever made. dont ever look back anymore. thats all in the past, which can no longer be changed. ahead of you is a bright future, empty pages for you to fill in. whats stopping you?

rem when i say, i'll cast away those misty clouds for the ray of hope to shine on you once again, i still mean it.

xiu: haha yep. my hair is freaking short now. LOL. oh wells. see how powerful jc is? woohoo. haha. ignore me. im weird. laladumx...

but everything means nothing if i aint got you.. you and you and you 6:06 PM

been blog-hopping alittle recently. guess there're still peeps trapped in sorrow and misery yep. nahs... aint bout promos. or at least i suppose so. and then, i recalled what xinhui told me when we met outside heeren on friday " hey i read your friendster profile. you sound much happier now. " haha. i just smiled.

hms... seems like its true eh? i smile more nowadays, as compared to previous years. i feel different too. entirely different. perception of matters too, have been altered. weird. seems like jc can really change a person.

thou there're still hurdles ahead waiting for me to overcome, i know everyone's here with me to do it. (: so peeps, if you're feeling down or smth, look ard ya? your friends and family are still with you. everyone's willing to help you, so why wont you let them?

haha. ok. the above entry so doesnt sound like me. bahs... suddenly im starting to miss all my frens again. xin, jie, shih ying, xiu, bong, wang, sistas, bald, dudu, council, s76, weijing, linhui, xiuyi, lea, joan, eunice, sam, zhenyu, zhongyi, daryl, kaiwei, mao, yan... and the list goes on and on. last but not least, nhds.

hee... im so glad jie's happy now. ok, not that she aint happy last time, but you get the meaning. haha. she just cant stop smiling now HUH?! LOL. haos, ok i admit defeat ya? but at least, im always her o5o8o5. HIAKS.

wonder what bout the rest. bahs... im way being time. in the prehistoric era k. dont know whats happening in all my peeps lives.

the frequent visits to my uncle have dawned on me that life is indeed fragile. was on ECP ytd when we witnessed a car accident. ok, not really witness. but we saw the car smashed and seriously flattened. my mom didnt dare to look. i saw. many people lying at the side of the road. many others were gathering round. a few cars stopped to help. Singaporeans do have a kind heart yep. so yep, i was just imagining myself in that state too. bahs... i miss dance. really.

its a pity i wasnt enthusiastic bout it bef when i was in sec sch. not very. but i duno. i dun even noe if i have the time to go back. open house is this sat. farewell is coming. 2006 orientation. move to sav. bahs... we are even busier than the 27th. and i really hope, things will work out fine. 10:18 AM

yes. i'll say.

no, i wont.

bahs... exams are over. and the mess starts all over again. vicious cycle eh? cant get out of it. 4:46 PM

bahhss... im so bored. exams are over. and im at home. bahhss... supposed to be doing pw. but im still finding our wr comments. its somewhere under my hude piles of ws. hee. =x

someone date me out tmr! *pokes jie. HINT HINT. hiaks hiaks. 4:06 PM

promos are over. aint i glad? haha. ytd was whole load of fun! thou i was dead tired and practically stoning most of the time. hees... shall tok alittle on the papers first bef getting to the coolest part of the day. econs was alrite. i hope. at least its far more betta than my ct essays. chem was a disaster. bahs... efforts all down the drain. gt a real bad feeling for getting F for it. math was easy. spent the first hour doing until qn8. see how easy it is? but there are some challenging parts inside too. often its the hence part. but oh wells. i have confidence in scoring for that. and hopefully that will help to pull up my overall pts needed to promote.

shant be pessimistic bout it. not optimistic too. just.. i duno. im as afraid as everyone now. exams didnt mean that much to me until now. (uh huh, including Os.) tsk tsk. haha. hms. duno lah. if i retain, i will be too ashamed to stay on in sa. i'll go poly. ngee ann or sp? hms... haha. but i hope not. since ive long made the decision to stay on after first intake.

ok. lunched in sch. we went to bishan first to take a look at the bags we've been toking bout long ago. didnt really find a bag that particularly caught my eye. nvm. at least shir found hers. haha. went off to town after that. met lulu. oh sweets. its ok that u didnt join it. thou it'd have beeen nice for u to tag along. (: wenta far east. woots. bot a brown top from hula & co. after so many trying of clothes. my goodness. now ive realised, my sistas are sick in the mind! shh!! naughty shir and her testi. tsk tsk. haha.

headed off to cine to catch corpse bride. ahhh... its a great movie! i'll rate it 5 stars! the effects are woohoo! hee... the plot aint those typical love story even. (: haha. took neos again! we all looked pretty! haha. went for an early dinner at marche after that. hee. we sure know how to pamper ourselves eh? rosti. crepe. smoked salmon. veg. sambal stingray. and many more! hiaks. and im a fishmonger-to-be. wahahaha.

walked to taka. met ian, teeny, gen and vankang. woots! there was some newpaper fashion thingy there too. roamed ard and asked any friend we met to take pic for us. MY GOODNESS! its crazy. but fun. hees. elsa! upload! quick! if not my frenster pic will always be me n mommie. bahs... *shakes head. its so scandalous. was ernie and his crappy idea to trick peeps. haha.

did i miss out anything? haha. i duno. im just so happy after promos over. thou im feeling kinda guilty and worried. but aiyar. its post-promos time. and its play time! heard theres some clubbing event going on in indochine today for us. haha. oh whatever. you'll never see me stepping into a pub w/o getting caught. BOO... 1:12 PM

argh!! moodle is DOWN for heaven's sake! do you know how much i can absorb if moodle is back on? you know how much i can find out bout those companies which merge and stuff?! arrhhhsss.... damn it damn it damn it!!

bahs. today = stressful day. even mudpie aint making me happy. ): ok at least there was smth to destress me and rach. some PDA on the bus that got us laughing our heads off. (btw, PDA is public display of affection if you didnt know.)

promos is gonna start again tmr. im so so screwed. sobs... 7:24 PM

ok. im way behind my schedule. didnt complete chem afterall. left with chem energetics, states of matter - solids and HYDROXYL. rarrhh. ok forget it. its econs and shall be econs only. no way im gonna forsake my econs for chem k. dum dum dum...

reading the econs forum is making me dizzy. bahs... i wonder where does everyone get the information bout creative, apple, exxon-mobile, microsoft etc. research? bahs... it'll be better if they attach links to their discussions, just like what jeremy did. nice guy. haha. that'll be a great help to lazy bums like me. =x

4 more days and its party time!! woo!!!

short tags..

shir: hey... dont ever think you're dumb k? (thou sometimes i too say that bout myself =x) but dont ever give up on yourself? we havent sat for the papers yet. there's still time to change the future. rem my phy ct? i tot i was a goner and gave up the nite bef. but i woke up and continued to study until the paper started the next day. and poof. thats the only paper i passed. LOL.

see? no one's dumb in this world k? maybe you dont see the ray of light now. but i promise i'll huff and puff and blooooooowwww away those misty clouds blocking your view k? (:

pat: wee... im glad you're happy now. reading ur entry made my day. or at least my nite. hee.. stay cheerful and crappy ya?!!! cya after promos!! (: 8:47 PM

every day's a study day. bahs. ok. perhaps today is a slackier day. aint gonna study till wee hours again. tired. *yawns. besides, im visiting my uncle tmr again! wee... so happy. furthermore, my family's eating sakura tmr bef that. hiaks. *grins with envy. been ages since i last went there. haha. yums.

gonna wake up late tmr. eat nth for breakfast and head str for sakura. laladumx... yums. hms, must wake up early to complete math. supposed to complete today. but apparently i did chem. LOL. ok nvm. must do econs too. ive neglected it too long. bahs... its now or never man. 11:41 PM