last day of work ytd. whew. like finally. gosh. people involved in Os or As pls get your facts right on the correct method of claiming money. did soo much editting and cancellations. tsk tsk. lol. oh well. it is indeed confusing i should say. took some time to get the hang of everything.

made a friend there. paul wei some. she's from myanmmar. pioneer arts. (: hope to continue to stay in touch with her. jie, if im gonna meet you some day when you have sch, i dont mind going to your sch and wait for u. HIAK.

went for dinner with bonk ytd. since i ended work early, so i ended up waiting for him instead. LOL. oh well. doesnt matter. i had seventeen to accompany me. met haoz and jie while waiting. pesky haoz. get your PAWS off her. lol. oops..

walked ard ps quite a few times since his friend will only start work at 7. so when it was 7, we headed to fish&co. gosh. his friend is the top drummer of asian beats this year! 3times in a row. and guess what, he didnt have any lessons on drumming bef. AHH.. lol. oh well. too bad fish&co doesnt have a drum set.

met his friend. bani. somehow from far, he reminded me of an indian scholar in s71. ya know, the tall guy? bani was singing with rifai and a malay girl then. so we enjoyed the music while dining. and yes! highlight of the nite. bonk went up to sing and play the guitar! lol. its great! its fab! woo. lol. hey, i didnt hear you going out of tune lahs. covered up real well. (: and yup, i enjoyed every minute of ytd nite, esp when you're on stage. rock on! btw, why am i called lala? LOL. i guess its cos of LALADUMS rite?

here i am, strapped down to my chair. not going to leave my house. besides, its raining. HOHO. tired. need to recover some of my sleep soon. but i cant sleep! ): all the dark circles. boo.




shit. now i need to come up with a lame excuse to cover up my flaw. bahss.. this is bad. sometimes i wonder how dumb i can get man. 2:16 PM

gosh. work is draining the hell outta me. but wun regret going. apart from the money, great exposure ya? looking at all those schools and names. bahss.. i'll just go blind or smth. lol. but oh well. at least by combining my pay and the one ive earned in june, plus some of my savings, i can get my shoes? yup.

council bbq. nt bad i guess? oh well. drunkards and tipsy people all ard. PEOPLE! if you cant take ur liquor, dont ever try. it doesnt mean that you're lucky everytime to have someone accompany you home or something k?

harry potter is driving me nuts. ahh... dont ask me why. im so dead. 9:50 PM

hur.. why is everyone flying off? lets see who i know are flying or have flown. jiam. zhenyu. lulu. bald. dudu. shir. jingx. elsa. fels. 1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5.. 6.. 7.. 8.. 9! 9 people! shir and jingx are even flying off on the 15th dec!! and its nigel's MY birthday! ahhhh... T.T this is saddening.

its 4 more days bef lulu is back, 9 days for bald and 12 days for dudu! eeks... this is bad. very bad. FASTER COME BACK!!!

rarrh. that man is pushing his limits. ask me to find people to repack all the t-shirts and pack the bears at 2pm on wed after our public speaking course! -.-" this is irritating. very irritating. arghss.. TC REPLY MY SMS!

went to work. did claims. oh my. checking the claims is alrite, until when ramesh told me to fill in the amt of claim for each teacher. there are 592 teachers who are claiming money from moe!! *jaws drop. then when i was about to finish, auntie joyce found out there was some prob and i had to help with the counting of claims again. WAH... its so complicated for a simple minded person like me. quotes my bro: you piece of shit. see?! shit has no brain ya noe. squirms. oh well, thank goodness i have auntie joyce and ms sng to help me. so its not that bad ya? just need to rem the procedure, thats all.

realised there isnt much age gap btw me and my mom. you know what? when she walked into the office, she was like HELLO! picture a bubbly teenager giving a big wave to her friends. YES! i was so shocked. haha. lunched with her colleagues. the conversations were comical. all the bitching. LOL. didnt talk. but hearing bout those bitching were good enough to amuse me. hee.

the grp of malay ladies and a malay guy are soo nice people! they offered me oreo! those singly wrapped one. she was like: excuse me (in a real polite and sweet tone). *passes me 2 oreos. i was like WAH!! hee hee. oh well. i overheard one lady talking bout make-up. blah blah. and they're all older than me. age gap? HAH. =P

working tmr too. wee.. its good to work with them. though i kept quiet like for the whole day?! yup. haha. (: great exposure ya? 6:53 PM

oh. bald's coming back on 30th instead. one day earlier than i tot. wee. but in half an hour's time, dudu is flying off. boo.. so fast!

oooo... shir and jingx just called. they've found the little pouchy that shir and i are looking for. im getting the bronze one. bet shir's gonna get the pink one. its so her. LOL.

oh oh! shit. ahh... lulu's flying too!!!! T.T another one.

love my mom. (: 8:27 PM

aahh... so many people are flying off! some had even flown off already. people like zhenyu and jiam. and i just got to know bout it a few hours bef they checked in last nite. ): saw the time was 8:03pm and i was like SHIT! check in already not?! so quickly called sam to wish zhenyu bon voyage. he's flying off with jiam and other classmates to thailand. so fast! As just ended ytd afternoon and they've flown off already. lol. oh well. hope they're enjoying their time there. As are finally over for them. nth can beat a holiday as the best form of reward of 2 years' effort.

next up on the list. dudu and bald! bald is flying off to hk at 5 and checking in at 3pm! barely 3.5 hours more and he wont be back till 1st dec! dudu is flying off to nz tonite and checking in at 9pm and wont be back till 3rd dec! T.T ahh... oh well. bald misses his relatives there badly. seriously, badly. he'll be able to enjoy being with his relatives and eating all the GOOD food! its a pity he has to fly alone. cant make it back if he flew with his family. haha. dudu will be missed terribly by june. vice versa. both of them are shhooo sweeet. (:

elsa is flying off soon! is it from the 21st to 27? somehow i have these 2 dates stuck in my head. oops. sorry! WHEN ARE YOU FLYING OFF?! and where? hee. forgetful me. but AHHH... u're flying too!! ):

shir and jingx are flying off in dec! arh!! ok. pls confirm with me your dates respectively k. im forgetful. =X eeeeeekkks!!

bahs. this is bad. everyone's leaving sg. ): ok not everyone. but ya. only rach and I are not going overseas. and i'll be quite busy from next week onwards. so maybe i can take them off my mind for a while. im soooo missing jiam and zhenyu now. eeks! soon, i'll be missing bald and dudu too. and then elsa, then shir, then jingx. ahhh... T.T 11:26 AM

i guess i demand too much. i dont wanna anything like this to happen again. especially if the main thing started cos of stress. that is the last reason i'll ever wanna hear ever again. cos. cos its smth that we cant control, which means, things may just happen again.

i noe how it feels to get all stressed up k? i guess, i dont understand you after all. maybe, even from the start. there're so many questions that i wish to ask, but i know i shouldnt. i know you'll tell me if you want me to know, like what you've always said.

im beginning to take that as a reason. but whenever i think of those smses, i get so disappointed again. anxious is not the word. no, it isnt.

i need time. to think over everything again. 2:43 PM

no. it went somewhere. on 15nov. but not anymore.

thats precisely why i feel so stupid now. this is utter nonsense. fancy quarreling over such a small matter. no. it had nothing to do with her. nothing at all. this i can assure. and no, its not what you said.

now, i dont care whatever effort you've put in. it doesnt affect me. like duh, its no surprise you'll put in effort. after all she's your partner. after all she'd done. she will appreciate it. those involved will appreciate it. ok?

its not bout her. its bout me. ok? yes. i needed to say that. somehow everything sounded so formal. its as though a teacher reprimanding a student and all that he can say to save his skin are those. it felt like, there's more to it. i dont sense any realness in anything. it'd become more of a formality speech than a talk. cant you tell the difference btw "i regret" and "its regrettable"?

i felt my capabilities were doubt. when words like "surely" were used. i felt so dumb that i needed you to as thou give me orders to follow blindly. are you questioning me? i know what im doing. do you know how hurt i felt when i received that very first sms? i felt used. a toy. just to be there to finish up your masterpiece. i felt you didnt understand my situation. how can i be so impartial?

you didnt sense there was anything wrong with your idea at all, despite all ive said. until the end. i cant believe you actually got so worked up cos of it. like hello? where's the you ive always known? i thought at least, you'll understand. quicker. not until like the whole thing was sorta blown up.

its a human thinking gone wrong alrite. gone real wrong. so wrong, its not just a human thinking gone wrong. why are you taking that so lightly? cos im not. didnt know you can cut someone so deep huh? well, i know. its not a wound mere words can heal. dont you get it? you dont understand at all.



you wanted answers. you have them now.




































note to parties not involved: please do not comment on anything above. it has nothing to do with you and i'd sincerely appreciate it. thats the last thing i'd wanna see on my cbox. thank you. 10:59 AM

this is going nowhere. 12:22 AM

happy birthday pat and zi! (:

hey pat, there's smth i need to tell u. actually, its the alarm i set in my hp to remind me of ur birthday. hee. oh well. you know how forgetful i can get, esp for birthdays rite? but nevertheless, im glad im no.1. wee...

OP yesterday. bahss. quite bad i should say. i didnt smile. which means, i look freaking fierce. LOL. bleah. hope i didnt scare lee ting jian and the female malay assessor. squirms. 5min was up and im still left with 1 slide. ahh.. so pretty much briefed through it. loved the videos. (: Q&A was bad. real bad. my project was on bullying in schs and in the workforce. so the question was this. elaborate on a campaign targetted to the workforce. like what?! there aint any campaign for them! so kinda crapped tru it. went home and told my bro bout it and realised i left out alot of things. eeks! bahs..

enough of pw. the big part is over and done with. left with inr. shall touch on it later. eeks! william lee didnt tell us what to include in our gpf. die. i heard we dont need to include any of our drafts, minutes, master attendance and survey results! eeks! die die. waiting for his reply now. ):

thank goodness my mouth wasnt that big to pop that qn. hms. wonder why i didnt. oh well. im glad i didnt. if not i'll just slap my face. piaks. dont read mich. dont read... you know how awful you'll feel after that. uh huh.

caught exorcism of emily rose. i viewed it more like a documentary instead. =X all the catholic stuff bout demons and blah blah. aint very scary actually. reminder: never ever stay up till 3am. bad time. haha. you'll get it when you watch the movie. i think i kinda spoilt the show. kept sneezing non-stop at the wrong times. LOL. oops. hee.

ian bought a pair of brown pants from zara. looks pretty good. thou i prefered the shirt more. later, me and rach shared ice cream! yum yum. wanted to settle with tori-Q. but im sick! darns. next time. till we meet again yummilicious chicken sticks.

caught a glimpse of project runway on the bus and the second half at home. eww. i hate wendy's design. i cant believe she was the winner for Banana Republic. its so auntie-ish! ok. fits her age. oops. haha. but hms, maybe cos i dont shop there. its like an american shop you know. its the taste i guess. i still support austin. (: 12:12 PM

11:44 PM

iflkmaybtlptk.

ha. i bet only timo will know how to read that. cos i ripped that method from him. but i bet, even he doesnt know what im talking about. [if she doesnt want anyone to know, she wont write it there.] hms... nah. doesnt work for me ya? like who will read? DUH... im not some miss popular or smth k. who will bother. ha. note to myself: always rem, you're a nobody. ok maybe somebody, somebody who others find joy in finding faults in. HOHO.

wait a min, i thought i didnt exist in your dictionary at all. then how can others see me? let alone, poke their noses into my life.

i feel invaded. no, not in that sense. but like what the?! another place discovered. another of my hiding places. ughhhhhh... you really wanna choke me rite? (no, dont think like that. u know she means no harm.) BUT NO!! i cant think like that anymore! get outta my life. period.

ok. i know she doesnt mean it. but like, seriously. how long can i take this? *remembers what sam told me. either i talk it out or i keep it in. HMS.. no. its still the same ans. thou, i dont know how long i can bear with this.

and i thought elsa's blog was difficult enough to understand. look at me. woohoo..

as in like, how to talk it out? been pondering over it for so so long. and its smth that i believe, shouldnt be changed. at least not for us to force it onto.

im giving the chance now. take it or leave it dude.

untie me. blocked off. it still holds. 2:23 PM

fuck pw.

darn it. cos of u, IM HAPPILY SACKED FROM WORK!! do you know how much ive gave up coz of YOU?! yes, you. *POINTS BIG FAT FINGER AT YOUR BLOODY FACE. i seriously dont understand why we are in the first op rehearsal grp AND WE HAVE TO END THE LATEST?! now, i cant even earn A TINY LITTLE bit to at least get myself A NEW PHONE!!!! damn it. curse that fat asshole with overflowing fatty acids in his/her trotters WHO BLOODY HELL STEPPED ON MY PHONE!!! curse curse curse!!! damn u!!!!

fuck. msia trip with council peeps. my job. all the fucking late nights i had to stay up cos im the fucking group leader so as to ensure everything is alrite. yada yada yada. NOW?! i cant even meet up with daryl to confirm the details of the new dance we're coming up with cos of PW AGAIN! YES U! FUCKING PW! arghhsss... i really duno how to put this across to him. he's like alone doing this lah! damn it.

fuck. dont come and tell me everyone's staying up late to do it. I HELLA KNOW IVE PUT IN MUCH MORE EFFORT THAN MANY OTHER PEOPLE ARD ME K! and this is what i fucking hell get?! arghssss.... screw pw.

how long more do u wanna screw up my life?! HUR!!!!

yes! i cant dance anymore! HAPPY?! HUR!!!!!!!!!! look at me. im some worthless ex-nhss dance MEMBER. hoho. its not bout the status. its like, LOOK AT ME! what have i achieved for the past 4 years?! NTH!! YES! NTH! look at her! some **** u noe?! like duh! of coz her over me rite?!! soooooo obvious.

UH HUH! im frustrated. irritated. whateva word u deem fit to describe me. over my incompetence. my incapability. DAMN IT!

how long more do i have to wait?! until my As are fucking over?! dont you know how much time ill be wasting?! HURRRRRRR. fuck it. IM SO USELESS! cant manage my time well. unlike gwen. she's like in uni and she's still going back to PA as often as she can. LOOK AT ME! laze ard the house. picky spoilt brat. EEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

hur.. hur hur..

psst. pardon my erm, language. you know i dislike using vulgarities alot. 1:45 PM

ahh.. im worried bout my mom! yes, she's working late tonite but its past 9 and no matter which office line i call, or her hp, she's not picking up! hello, aint she supposed to be working in the office or smth? eeks! thats sooo not her. ok, maybe it is. but hey, sometimes she bothers to call back to see if everything's fine ya?

maybe she's having dinner somewhere. maybe she didnt feel the vibration of her hp. eeks!

ok. now i know how she feels when i reach home past mn and dont give a ring. darns. eeks! ok. she's old enough to take care of herself. ahhh.... hope nth bad happens. CHOY! *fingers crossed. if it werent for my aunt whos looking for her, i wont even realise it. darn. what a filial daughter.

relax... dont freak out. nth's gonna happen to her. eeks! 9:16 PM

ooh ooh! dint add smth bout the chalet. the breakfast made by the guys on the second day! namely, andy, jeremy and tze kwang. haha. dried noodles with sunny side up, tomatoes and veg and oyster sauce and sesame sauce. YUMMY! haha. thou it may seem like some simple dish, but the guys can cook k. woohoo.. laladums.. and shir and elsa even wanted to marry them. DOINK. haha.

psst. jacky is a bad boy. always irritating me. TSK TSK.

arghs.. missing the breakfast. ahh... T.T 12:00 PM

class chalet just ended. sigh. it was soooo fun!

the long mahjong sessions with andy as my advisor. somehow we are stuck with the cat as our 'hua' and whenever we play together, we win! ok, not everytime. but most of the time k. wahahahaha.. too bad we didnt gamble. gambling is bad...

the gazing at stars at the balcony. woots! we can really see the many many stars in the sky, esp ytd nite. or rather, this morning. haha. wee... too bad i dont really know much bout astronomy. if not i can spot all the zodiac signs. so pretty! twinkle twinkle little stars, dont you know how pretty you all are? (:

cycling! my gosh. my butt hurts. like hell. haha. oh well. but its fun! i love my bike. the brakes rock. haha. but tk's bike is cool too! wah, so darn fast. and we tune our gears to the same even. darns. haha. oh well. wee... biked from pasir ris park to downtown east. some learning to bike. so fun! haha.

lying down on the breakwaters. laladums.. thou we were practically freezing there, but its quite nice to catch up with people from other cliques. its a pity the light from the lamp posts were too bright. supposed to be star gazing. darns. haha. oh well. its still fun! attempted to dig out the secret to the "fishing" thingy. failed. boo. haha.

bbq-ing while running away from those wandering cats who stare at our food with envy. andy named them dodo, mimi, raerae. maybe thats why we kept winning in mahjong with the cat. LOL. elsa was practically screaming her lungs out when the cat came near her. omg. haha.

shopping for grocery. so fun! we filled up 2 trolleys. HOHO. running ard here and there to get stuff. choosing the best foods. wee..bought a cake for sep to dec babies. mango cake from bungawan solo. yums.

staying up till 5 for the past two days. first nite was to prepare breakfast for the hockey guys. haha. sheesh. but ya. second nite was the cycling, star gazing and mahjong. haha.

went home by mrt with bk and jeremy. loads of chatting. and jeremy says he's gonna org another one at his house. one day thou. wee.. haha. its a pity not everyone came. like caron. xiuli. yiting. vanessa. and with people falling sick. like elsa. qian ling. andy. poor andy and his toe. bahss..

love my class. 05s76. <33 wee.. 9:25 PM

op dry run today. hms.. quite alrite i guess, considering that its my first and last. bahs... need to be more serious i guess. blah blah blah.

waited in vain for tc to end his op. bahs.. chua wasnt free. squirms. went to town with rach to get her wallet and pencil case. gosh. walk from ps to taka and wisma 3 days in a row. woohoo. my feet hurt like hell. haha. oh well. i love charles & keith! they sell nice flats and heels! i love mango! they sell nice tops! i love surf babes! they sell nice surf wear! *drools.. oh my. im superbly broke. darns.. i bet when i finally have the money, all the pretty clothes will be gone! BOOHOO.

bought a coin pouch cum tissue holder for my mom. what she wanted all along. (:

ok. so she bought a nightmare bef xmas coin pouch. pretty! wenta carrefour after that. bought minute maid lemonade. yums.. hee. rach bought sushi. haha. crab mayo huh? YUMS.. *chuckles. haha.

im giggly today. weeeeee.. 10:10 PM

highlight of ytd: jie's birthday. woohoo... she's one lucky girl with such a sweeeeeeet bf. credits to him who made the night a successful one. and cos of that, i finally got to see xin and shih ying. shups too! haha. weirdos were there too. as well as simin. (:

went shopping today with shir. wee... aint shopping fun. haha. went to check out the prices of keyboards for my bro at carrefour, ps. then headed down to town to do shopping! walked to taka, wisma, far east and many many more. wee... both of us bought a pair of bottoms. shorts to be exact. then we went to topshop. wanted to get some basics. but didnt find anything nice. love the brown ones thou. dun really like the cutting. im soooo in love with brown. (: wee.. but at least we bought smth there. LOL.

far east was our final destination. yeah! i found my sling bag! haha. its the last one. laladums... ITS BROWN! hoho. (: oh ya... saw some tops in mango. shrugs. didnt bring enough money out. darn. nvm. i'll get them sooner or later. mwhahahaha.

shir treated me to kalua mudpie at nydc! wee... thanks sweets. its nice, but ordinary. oh well. i enjoyed it totally. woohoooo... yums yums. enjoyed today. too bad jings couldnt make it. darn pw. rarrhh... 11:26 PM