that fat E spoils everything.

seriously you know, no matter how much i've improved (or how much luck i had) they just dont see it alrite. its the E that they see. then they go on and on and on telling me i should seek help this that. must go and ask if i dont know. that my bro, masters in chem e is at home for me to ask.

have you thought how i would feel?! did you realise how much pressure ive been carrying since the day i decided to stay on in sa?! and they just add on more bulk.

"so are you prepared for ur As?"
"no of cos not."
"sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo?"
"preparing la."

and the whinning just goes on and on and on.

why?! you keep saying this is my life. all that i've studied is for my own future. so cut the crap alrite. i get it. 10:42 PM

said i'll blog bout my results when i got back all my papers. surprised that im blogging today when i obviously didnt go to sch today and there's no econ lesson today as well? hehe. my dearest and ever lovable, adorable, fantastic awesome sa econ tuition mates gave me the biggest surprise gift today when i walked into the room. with nic announcing my econ grade, n chingtung n leanne too shortly after. tk too! hehe. thanks peeps! bestest surprise ever.

[im gonna sound like a total bitch now boasting bout her results if you continue to read on. so pls stop here rite now. im just keeping a reference as a form of motivation to keep me going for the next 5 weeks. (: ]

GP - B3
it was supposed to be B4 but the school moderated by adding 3 points so i jumped a grade. anw that isnt the point. im really surprised i was able to maintain my score for my essay esp when i came out of the exam venue with a sunken heart, knowing i repeated my points. glad i was able to pull it off. whew. my AQ saved me for my p2. that was the only thing i was confident of. lol. it was also the first time Pang praised me and i was ard. haha. oh well, its just luck.

CHEM - E D
i refuse to admit i got an E. LOL. i missed by half a mark to get my D can?! how sickening is that?! groans. ms tan is real strict this time round. ahh... oh well. not that its a bad thing anw. but its just half a mark and she doesnt want to give it to me la! damn. haha. but i think her words of encouragement is definitely worth more than that half mark. "i know you can do much better." somehow, somewhere in her sweet voice, she gave assurance.

MATH - B
just made it. whew. william lee was telling me "dont tell anyone ur grade." i didnt understand what he meant until i compared my p2 marks with p1. wts! i did so much better for p2 la! when the norm is that ppl score higher for p1. haha. im just weird la. but oh well, im not really surprised cos i didnt have a good rest the night bef p1 thanks to no.2. -.- though i would love to get an A, im quite satisfied la. A for my As! wahahaha.

ECON - B
shut up! can you believe this?! i must be dreaming. crap! first time in my life i scored above E for econs! omg. this good news is so unrealistic. i predicted an E la. since i didnt do really well for my essays. (i failed 2 of them la.) n i failed my case study too. all by a margin though. but my mcq pulled me high up i guess. its either a 26 or 27. wts?! i knew i had 3 wrongs for mcq but huh?! ah... haha. i still cant register it in my head. screams!

alrite. thats the end of everything. 50 pts. a great boost. wee... anyhows, this is just prelims. i can easily flop my As if i lose my momentum or become cocky and thus complacent. peeps, if you havent done as well as you expected, dont fret and despair yup? like what i said, its just prelims. quotes daniel "this is the last time for you to flop." haha. so... yes! let that be ur motivation alrite! dont wanna see u guys in such a bad mood alr. (: and to those who had done well, congrats! cont to work hard k! ur efforts will pay off, like they have for prelims. 11:49 PM

i feel like a total moron now. how was i supposed to believe when you lied to me so many times. great. and this is the only time i didnt 'fall' for it. no better timing.

dont try surprises on me. it always backfires.

why am i so dumb? if only my dad told me when he saw it outside our house ytd night or smth. like why will i leave smth on the dining table? mom, you so dont know me.

it should have dawned on me when my mom kept prompting me bout the zara bag earlier. why didnt i check it out? and my bro hid it real nicely under his suit. WOW. how complicated can things ever get.

im an idiot. seriously. initially, i had no math fys (fyi: fiveyearseries) now i have 2 identical sets, staring right in front of me. gosh. someone, kill me. 6:32 PM

i found the book! woohoo! so to those angels out there who were willing to lend me a hand (or rather, book. hur.) thank you! its alrite. i have it alr. photocopied version. hehe.

besides, i preferred it photocopied. asked my mom to separate all papers so that when i go for consultation, the load will be lighter. but she called to tell me she printed single-sidedly. omg. haha. OH WELL. beats having nth from the start rite?

oh yes. big thank you to ker! received his sms the night i posted the previous entry. WHEW. cant thank you enough. haha. he passed me the book ytd. and while we were in the midst of mugging + chatting at mos, we met his mj friend. oops. hope nth bad will happen huh. if she happens to know bout ytd (choy), im most willing to clarify. haha.

off to sch now to collect my econ pp. lets hope chua will give them back today. if not im wasting my time. -.- 11:34 AM

anyone has the book, GCE A Level Mathematics 5 Year Series from 2001-2005 or know where to find anymore stock for that book pls help me purchase it first! your kindness and help will be most appreciated. if not, anyone who has the book, pls be kind enough to lend it to me for photocopying!

im desperate k. saw the book at popular in sch this morn. contemplated. after a few hours. that few books were gone! HUH?! damn it. there were even more chem books than the math ones and all math ones were wiped out ok. crap! why did i hesistate?! just buy la! groans.

headed to je popular to search. gone. search using their system for all the Popular bookstores in sg. NONE. went to Big Bookshop at clementi. sold out. clementi bookstore. "sorry we dont sell them." SCREAMS.

walked the whole of je central to find a bloody photocopying shop that can photocopy my bro's lib book in time. DONT HAVE. (there was the kodak shop but wts?! 10c for first 10pages, 5c for the rest?!) the book was thick alrite. grr.

got all frustrated while trying to go to the right platform to take the train back to clementi. felt like an idiot. walking up and down the stairs bef realising i was originally at the correct side. how dumb could i get? and what is wrong with people who refuse to let people alight first bef getting onto the train?! its not as if the train will leave w/o them. what happened to courtesy? worse, they snailed in ok. if i didnt get out in time, i'd have wasted even more time taking one stop back.

at least my efforts were sorta paid off when i found a kodak shop round the corner in which a kind lady offered to shrink 2 pages into 1 and allowed me to print one page as a sample. can only collect it tonite at 10 or tmr morn. oh well. beats collecting it all the way at je tmr and paying more.











dont judge me. im not who you depict to be.
dont blame me for smth i couldnt forsee. neither could you.
dont stretch me. im not a rubber band.
dont be ignorant of that tiny speck of shadow i make. maybe im not in the pic anw.


more reasons to have rooftops on repeat mode. 5:46 PM

6:58 PM

rain rain rain. when will it stop? its freezing the hella out of me, despite the comfort of my pink le coq jacket from pat. [hey dude, where've u been?! havent heard from you since man!]

not in the mood to study. why?! crap. its the final day of my prelims. last push bef it all ends and i hear my verdict once again. read tru my notebook with notes right from atoms and stiochimetry all the way to transition metals but excluding org chem. but i dont feel as though i've read anything. am i making any sense? darn.

org chem is waiting for me downstairs. i was supposed to start that since like 1pm? i resented. where did my motivation go? mich,thou its only a freakin 1h paper where u simply color 40 blank circles, it freakin makes a diff la! groans. shall attempt to get my butt off the chair after this entry.

sam's blog. as intriguing as always. haha. as simple as you make it sound, its hard to start in the first place. but maybe its cos i never wanted to take that first step. making this as explicit as i can alr. ask me if you dont understand ya?

its too late to go out and study now. besides, im stuck at home with the rain grounding me. grr. wish me luck. 1:49 PM

banquet is a great movie. 5 stars no doubt. worth getting scolded by my mom during lunch. hehe.

its quite an arty film actually. classic. nice.. turmoil. love. sacrifices. desire. all in one. they picked the right actors and actresses for the movie. the emperor's facial expressions were hilarious. all the constant shocks. LOL. anyhow, its highly recommended. people, go watch! definitely worth any ticket price.

im growing fat la. thurs nite was spent at new york new york, with shir ordering that sinful dish. lol. ytd nite was at cartel where we over-ordered and sam couldnt fin our left overs. and today is crab's day. ahhh... 12:09 AM

my econs is gone. damn. careless mistakes all over. cant i just swiggle closed economy? without finishing one of my essays and another one going the wrong way, plus my carelessness for p1, no matter how good my grades are for p2, it'll still be crap. sigh.

i had 15min to spare for p2. why? i dont know. i couldnt fin my essays yet i had more than ample time for case study and drq. sigh. and i thought i can get my triple C this time round. hopes are dashed man..

ironically, i think i'll do better for my math p2 when everyone's saying p2's much tougher. yes, definitely. complex nos. like HUH?! hypothesis testing was much much easier compared to the probability option. pls tell me im dumb. i chose the latter, fearing i'll screw the former up since my foundation is barely there. i hope my ans are right.

what's left. chem p1. sigh. i'd better keep myself wide awake and alert throughout that hour. no more careless mistakes.

[erased. an entry for another time.] 1:37 PM

i have a paper later and im online. great. haha. shall make this a quick one. update my comments on the papers another time when my econ p1 n p2 end today.

c talked to me! (: haha its been ages since we last chatted. then that fine sunday nite, just when i went online to destress looking at online shops, a msn window popped up and it was c! "all the best for prelims" wahahaha. you can never know how happy i was then. after all the shitty things then, its a wonder c said "ive been wanting to talk to you" to me! yay! wahahahaha. do you know how much that line meant?

cleaned up the mess i made back then. it felt great. to bridge our friendship back again. to be able to talk to each oher again as though nth happened btw us bef. (: 9:34 AM

jie! leamour hasnt replied me! damnit. i wan that freakin off-shoulders at any cost! haha.

rite... in case anyone doesnt know what the hell i was talking about, feast your eyes on this prettiest top!

isnt she just gorgeous in it? crap. been trying to find smth like that for ages. and pre-orders for fall addict is CLOSED! jie, why never show me earlier?! %^$*#%@ haha.

oh yes. her shop can be found at http://leamourcloset.blogspot.com/ feel free to browse! hope L'Amour's new collection comes out rite aft my prelims. cant wait! retail therapy is a good way to pamper myself during the break. grins.

FOOD CHEM! did you know soy sauce is RICH in MSG?! uh huh. but if i didnt rem wrongly, it contains some good stuff inside too. like seriously, some stuff that reduces or prevents cancer i think. I THINK. hm. and all hail salmonella, the virus in chicken rice. haha.

10:25 AM

ok fine. i saved the previous entry as draft. THANKS FOR ALL THE HORRIBLE RESPONSES. haha and CHEW ZHENYANG, what did u say bout me? i forgot. haha. andre, whats with that sad face? retribution freakin u out? LOL.

ok ok fine.. i look horrible in specs. look what prelims can do to me! screams. looking at the post again, i think i look real diff in them. see what i mean. haha. well, at least SOMEONE said i look like a lawyer. (thx yan.) thou i definitely dont have the potential to be one. then again, im not photogenic LAH ok? hehe. shall post prettier photos up next time.

hur hur. nice prank andre. i'll haunt u soon. rarrh.

4h of tuition was a killer man. screams. we barely scraped thru drq and kelly didnt have time to go tru the last mcq when i got WRONG. damnit. nvm. shall read it tru and see if i still dont understand. 4 essay outlines. 12min each. wts?! i was only at the sec part of qn3 when the time was up. haha. oh well. at least i finished way ahead of time for mcq. 15/25. OOPS.

the world is so small. shups is clarissa's friend, who happens to be MY friend too. haha. 8:11 PM

was reading Angels and Demons last nite and i chanced upon this para which i found rather... inspirational? preachy i guess. but anw, its found on page.418 Credits to Dan Brown definitely. it talks bout how Science has some sorta caused more harm to us that it actually seemed to have, both physically and emotionally. read!

Science may have alleviated the miseries of disease and drudgery and provided and array of gadgetry for our entertainment and convenience, but it has left us in a world without wonder. Our sunsets have been reduced to wavelengths and frequencies. The complexities of the universe have been shredded into mathematical equations. Even our self-worth as human beings has been destroyed. Science proclaims that Planet Earth and its inhibitants are a meaningless speck in the grand scheme. A cosmic accident. Even the technology that promises to unite us, divdes us. Each of us is now electronically connected to the globe, and yet we feel utterly alone. We are bombarded with violence, division, fracture, betrayal. Skepticism has become a virtue. Cycnism and demand for proof has become enlightened thought.
Is it any wonder that humans now feel more depressed and defeated than they have at any point in human history? Does Science hold anything scarced? Science looks for answers by probing our unborn fetuses. Science even presumes to rearrange our own DNA. It shatters God's world into smaller and smaller pieces in search for meaning... and all it finds is more questions.

yup. that basically's it. quite long though. but it has so much volume! ok, i sound lit-ty. HUR HUR. well, maybe not even there yet. anw, isnt what so-and-so (read the book to know who said it) said rather apt in this world? talk bout skepticsm and cynism. haha. alrite guys. hope you enjoy that para above. if you find it boring, sorry. i dont know why but that para made me read it over and over again last nite. and it was like 3+?! so i decided to put it here for my future reference.

things are getting interesting now. eat your words. 11:11 AM

halfway through prelims. screwed up my gp totally. first time in my life i had to write 4 times to get everything rite. worse, it isnt rite in the first place. im so unsatisfied with my paper1! like WTS AM I WRITING?! alrite. paper2 was worse. chimology lit qns. lost touch with lit long ago. not that i did well in the first place. haha. anw, the only thing i was proud of was my AQ. cheerios. hur hur.

math. WOOHOO. i died. hahahaha. i knew the hard qns were coming when i was wondering why am i doing the qns so fast. like, im at qn... 9? after an hour or so?! yes its dat fast. then ya. i didnt really fin lah. didnt have time to look back. crap. total crap. i so hafta work hard for my paper 2 to get my C min. ):

econs. 3 essays in 2h15min. i'll be a genius to complete them. i spent 1hour each on my first 2 essays and barely completed half of my final essay in 15min. im such a genius. WOW. damnit lah. at least i hope i got my elasticity qn rite, after kelly explaining to me. its more essays for me then.

chem. I CAN DO PAPER2!! yay! first time in history i could ans all the qns! yay! ok, maybe ONE qn. bout the difference in melting pts. but oh well. i managed to cough out smth which i think can get half the marks the most? hehe. but anw, I CAN DO! despite dying for econ, i felt relieved aft the chem paper. so into the mood that i practically laughed till i cried the nite. oops. hehe.

that sums it all i guess. ive breaked for 3 days. OH NO!! pls kill me. ): so must get my food chem rite. i know paper3 will be a tough one. SA wont let us off with a chicken p2. and my stats! im so screwed for stats. ):

kelly dearest is giving us a mock econ prelim exam this coming friday. 4h. crap! "to come in armour, sword and shield." omg. haha. she's so crappy. but oh well. LOVE HER. great econ tutor. so much better than -COUGH COUGH- haha. we bought her brands essence today! 1:02 AM